Ugh, not again. Yep, there it is. Did you catch Matt Walsh’s recent post on stay-at-home moms that has blown up in the social media world? As a mother (and one that left a traditional career when motherhood came calling), there were parts of this post that made me want to applaud. I was happy that this man was standing up for motherhood, for his wife, and for the gravity of the job that we take on when we decide to multiply. But by the end of the post, I was cringing. Not for what he said, but for the fact that I understood this was yet another post pitting mothers against each other. It seems like every time I open my computer, open a magazine, read an article or turn on the morning new programs, there’s something outlining why being a stay-at-home mom or why being a working-mom will forever harm your children, ruin the mom’s life, and pointing out reasons why we have made the wrong decision, regardless of what that choice was.
“Children whose moms work don’t feel love and attention.” “Children of stay at home moms see their mother as a door mat.” “Girls lose their sense of who they are by not having their mother at home guiding them.” “Girls are raised thinking that only their dads and men are capable of working.” “Women aren’t able to embrace their instincts of being a mother when they are thrown back in the work force.” “Women lose their value and skill set by staying at home.” “Working moms are over committed and stretched thin.” “Stay at home moms are depressed and less satisfied with life.” Seriously people – STOP!
I’m sick of it! Why do we, as women, feel compelled to beat each other up? Why can’t we support the decisions that each woman makes for HERSELF and HER FAMILY as opposed to jumping right into judgement that a fellow mom has chosen a path different from the one you chose?
Motherhood is, hands down, the hardest and most challenging job I have had and will ever have. There are days when I feel like I’m trying to reason with a drunk monkey with a mood swing disorder as opposed to a little human being. But in the same breath, it is the most rewarding, most joyful job I have had and will ever have. The feeling of having little arms wrap tight around your neck and tell you how much they love you is utterly priceless. If I was to guess, I’d say that most mothers (I did say most) would agree with these statements. If we all have this common bond, this equally amazing gift and challenge, why do we feel like we need to be pitted against one another? We all operate differently. I know women that are much better mothers because they work and I know women that are much better mothers because they stay home. Either way, we are all sacrificing something. Working moms often feel they are sacrificing their time with their children while SAH moms often feel they are sacrificing career growth and stimulating time with their peers in the work place.
I’d love for us to all just take a little break from judgement. Before we look at another mom with ridicule, accusations, and question her decisions for her family and her life, just know that she is doing the best she can, making the best decisions she can and blindly feeling her way through motherhood, just like you are. Praise her for the decision she’s made, regardless of what it is, because either way I’m sure it’s one that kept her up a night or two night….well, that and her teething baby.