It Was All a Lie: 5 “Must Have” Baby Products I Hated

BABYGEARMUSTHAVESWhen I registered for baby gifts I had no clue what I was doing. I am not what one might describe as a “researcher” and my choices had much more to do with popularity and the items’ aesthetics than actual data and facts. Like many of you, if I heard a product was floating everyone else’s boat, I went with it. Yes, that’s right – I’m a self-admitted baby product copycat. Hi, I’m Maggie and I’m a Baby Product Follower. In my defense, though, when you’re a newbie, how are you to know better?! As I actually used these famed products, or, rather, stopped using them, I started to wonder about their supposed popularity and if I was the only one who felt scammed. Was I alone in my disappointment?! It turns out that no, I was not. I called a few friends and found some common threads about products amongst us that “everyone” told us were “must haves”. Beware mothers-in-waiting for the following list of products that let me down faster than a toupee on a windy day![hr]

Product: The Boppy

Selling Points: Several years ago this was the go-to nursing pillow. Not only that, but it promised support for tummy time, sitting, and three hundred other things as well, I’m sure. There were tons of cute cover options, and from every baby store and boutique around, to boot. Nothing reels us girl-mamas in faster than having the option of switching out the pink polka-dot cover for the pink flowered cover.

Why I Hated It: There was nothing comfortable about nursing with this thing. It never really fit around my waist, which is always a layer of salt on the open wound of my-baby-only-weighed-7-pounds-so-why-did-I-gain-30. Additonally, once the thing was finally wedged around me, wailing baby and all, it always weaseled its way out of place. Eventually it was dropped, mid-feed to be tripped on post-nursing. Other than ineffectively aiding nursing, this pillow does nothing a regular throw pillow can’t do. Baby is starting to hold head up on tummy and you want to change it up? Grab a small blanket and roll it up. Free. Easy. Baby is at the wobbly sit-up (but fall down in 3 seconds) stage? Grab a throw pillow. Free. Easy. Don’t worry, you’ll have enough to do without washing those adorable covers.

The Perfect Replacement: Hopefully you’ve heard about the My Brest Friend for nursing by now. Okay, I know it’s the new Must Have, but this one has reason to be, mamas! First of all, it snaps in to place (and the straps are adjustable for shrinking tummies, thank you very much). Secondly, the baby actually fits (and stays put) on this bad boy, and while they aren’t quite as cute, it does have a removable cover for the days that things get messy. I have yet to hear of a MBF user that wasn’t wholly satisfied and put it on their To Save in Case of a Fire List.[hr]

The Product: The side-by-side double Bob stroller

bobdoublestroller
Stroller: “So you want to fit through doors, huh?”, Me: “Yes, please.”, Stroller: “Psyche.”

Selling Points: It is a Bob. Isn’t that enough? Bob strollers are to motherhood what CK1 was to my entire 7th grade class. It’s the creme-de-la-creme. The IT product. You’ll run faster and jump higher. Or maybe that’s PF Flyers (Sandlot, anyone?)…. But I digress.

Why I Hated It: There are Bob-lovers reading this right now whose toes are curling in their Tory Burch flats, I realize, but I cannot tell a lie: I rue the day I forced cajoled harangued asked my husband to buy this for our growing family. This big chunk of real-estate has caused me far more headaches than it has been helpful. The low points: it needs its own zip code, for Pete’s sake. If you don’t drive a mammoth SUV, forget about it. It is a beast to fold (although you can lay off the arm exercises for all the strength it takes to get it in and out of said mammoth vehicle), and it once it is fully “folded” you’d still be able to use it as a small buffet table. Shopping? Forget it – you’re not getting through the aisles. Cup holders? Oh, sorry – those cost extra; bar for the infant car seat? That’s extra, too. If they could charge people to look at it, they might. That Bob is proud of his product. And last on my rant – the tires go flat only on days that end in -y, which is always convenient with small children.

The Perfect Replacement: I never actually bought a replacement for this nemesis. I prefer to be a martyr to my difficult life as a double-Bob owner (sniff, sniff). Really, though,  I just couldn’t justify spending more money on another stroller when I had one, albeit one I hated. However, woulda-shoulda-coulda… I have been witness to the gloriousness of the City Select. From friends’ experiences it has proven a great single stroller on which one can add additional seats as well as a glider in the back. There are multiple options for seating arrangements, as pictured below. As I understand it, this is an investment piece, but it well worth the money. cityselectstroller [hr]

The Product: The Diaper Genie

Selling Points: The convenience of a trash can, specifically made for diapers, right at your diaper-creme smeared fingertips. No smell. Easy clean up.

Why I Hated It: Y’all, this Genie was the least magical part of parenthood. I’ll admit that for the first little while the Genie did work. Really well, in fact. So well that we would wait until the pail was so full that we could not possibly shove a single diaper into it. Because we did this, it took little time for it to start smelling. I mean, eyes-watering, gag-a-little-in-my-mouth smell. You let it get too full Lazy Mom, you accuse, and I do not deny that fact, but there were other frustrations including (but not limited to): the bag was a pain to get in and out (I will neither confirm nor deny that my husband got his arm stuck in this contraption); the replacement bags were expensive; the time and energy saved by throwing the diaper in there was negated by the frequency with which you were required to empty said bag. (So it doesn’t get too full, thus stinking up the entire room, like my cautionary tale above. You’re welcome.)

The Perfect Replacement: Once again I chose not to directly replace this product. Instead, I decided to just take each diaper – yes, you read it right – and put it in the trash. Wet diapers are allowed in the closed-lid kitchen trash can (which is emptied every night), and dirty diapers are walked out to the outdoor bin. Yes, it takes a few seconds to traipse down to the outdoor trash bin… but it only takes a few seconds. I find it far less annoying and far cheaper (and by cheaper, I mean free) than dealing with those dang blue tube-bags every five diapers.[hr]

Baby C says don't buy this silly high chair. Oh, and do I have something on my face?
Baby C says don’t buy this silly high chair. Oh, and do I have something on my face?

The Product: A large Chicco high chair

Selling Points: Feed your baby with ease in a high chair that wipes easily. It has removable plastic liners for the tray, includes a five-point harness for the feisty eaters, and has rollers for ease-of-kitchen-travel.

Why I Hated It: Well, it was just… big. The wheel base on this baby guaranteed tripping for any passerby, both in front of or behind the chair. There was no “good” spot for the monster; it always seemed to be in the way. The removable/washable trays seemed like a nice option, but really it just meant more storage for the trays not being used. Lastly, the cover required a PhD to remove, much less put back on, so the promise of cleanliness was markedly decreased by my pure hatred of removing the pads. Additionally food always got stuck in the over-kill 5-point-harness straps. I mean, I’m all about safety, but this strap system on this thing led me to believe that at any minute my child my be ejected from the seat (but would subsequently be kept safe due to the NASA-level safety feature). abetterhighchair

The Perfect Replacement(s): I like a good IKEA run as much as the next girl and when I saw their wildly inexpensive plain white, small plastic high chair I grabbed it. I figured if I hated it I was only out about $0.67. It has been one of my favorite purchases to date – it is easy to clean, requires no level of higher education to put together or operate, and takes up little kitchen real estate. My friends also raved about the simple chair-attaching seats. Modeled by two cute twin friends, these bad boys simply strap to whatever kitchen chair you already have, alleviating the annoyance of yet another baby item to stash. They are apparently easily cleaned and, while safe, don’t require 4 minutes of snapping harnesses.[hr]

The Product: The Moby Wrap

Selling Points: You can strap your baby to you in approximately 5,937 different ways. Your back will never hurt! Attachment and bonding, in the bag.

Why I Hated It: I don’t feel like I’m bragging when I say that I consider myself to be of moderate intelligence. I can read manuals and watch YouTube videos with the best of them, yet there was something about this supposed dream sling that registered wildly over-complicated to my brain. I went in to the process of carrying my oldest in the Moby with the best of spirits and came out feeling tired and with an IQ inferior to a farm animal. Surely carrying my child around while I do chores shouldn’t be this complicated.

bestsling
Sometimes you need 17 hands instead of two… But at least my Jelly Bean sling is helping with the baby bundle in the hat.

The Perfect Replacement: You pay for what you get proved wrong, wrong, wrong for me in the sling department. The Moby was a fail with a capital F, but so were about 4 other “awesome” carrying devices. All were either uncomfortable, bulky, too complicated or some fabulous mixture of all three. The only sling I have used and LOVED has been the cheapest one I’ve found. The Munchkin Jelly Bean sling, for me, was SIMPLE (can I get a hallelujah?!) and comfortable. No, I couldn’t carry a baby in there for hours without my back hurting, but that’s what strollers are for, ladies.[hr] Motherhood is the ultimate trial and error. The perfect mix of failing and winning, all within 10 minutes. It’s nice to know that, even when we make poor buying decisions because Everyone Else is Doing It, we can always mend our ways, change our tune, and hit a home run with the next kid.

Maggie
Although not a native Texan, Maggie has enjoyed getting to know the city of San Antonio with her husband, a native to San Antonio. If she were a bumper sticker type of person (which she vehemently is not) she might have one of those “I didn’t grow up in Texas, but I got here as soon a I could” stickers. Maggie enjoys staying home with her children and loves the daily calamity that is raising her son (born 2011) and daughter (born 2009) in Boerne. She would always chose outdoor activities over indoor, sweatpants over dresses, crafting over TV, and cupcakes over… anything. It feels like her life has been full of “learning experiences”, and Maggie loves to share about having a micro-preemie in the NICU, her experiences as an adoptee and a heart patient, and about her family’s experiences with adopting a child on her blog Mondays with Maggie. Life is an adventure and she’s thankful to have the perfect amount of OCD and ADHD to keep up (most days).

1 COMMENT

  1. My oldest daughter is 17 and I too was “charmed” by the many baby products out there. I stumbled across your article and I am fascinated we ended up hating similar products even though my child was born way before yours. The worst of all was the Diaper Genie. It was the must have item. Well, it didn’t take long for it to smell awful. We even soaked it in a tub with chlorine bleach and soap and it still smelled. (I can’t believe it is still being sold and I always warn new parents not to buy it.) I agree; the boppy was cumbersome and it was always in the way. (Thank goodness it was a loaner from a friend because a pillow worked much better.) We didn’t have the BOB stroller but we spent a ton on a high tech stroller with tons of attachments. We had a baby wipe warmer and it was also a bad decision because the wipes would eventually dry out. Your article made me laugh. In the end, we should have used the most simplest items and saved our money for college.

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