Motherhood comes with a host of choices to make about what is best for you, your family, and your child. We at Alamo City Moms Blog have a variety of moms who want to embrace these choices instead of feeling guilty or judged for them! We are continuing our series, Perspectives in Parenting, with a look at childbirth. Four of our contributors will share their experiences – Christin’s birth with an epidural, Amy’s natural childbirth, and Denise’s home birth.[hr]
When I became pregnant for the first time, it was less than a month after running my third back-to-back marathon. I guess you could say I was addicted to a high-intensity, high-pain activity that would push my body to its physical limits. Naturally, when I found out I was pregnant, I had every intention to birth my child naturally, pain medicine-free. I had regularly run 20+ miles. How could I not try childbirth a la natural?
My well-laid plans were just those: plans that would never be realized. As I found out in the early stages of my pregnancy, my daughter would be born with her liver and bowel on the outside of her body, and a vaginal delivery would have put us both at risk. A Cesarean section was my only option.
Like many women I know, I mourned the loss of a vaginal birth. My opportunity to experience childbirth like my mother, my grandmother, and generations before me would not be so. It took me about three weeks to get over the loss of traditional childbirth, but once I did, I began to “embrace the C,” focusing on the benefits I’d see through a C-section.
By the time my second child rolled around, I had pretty much become the poster child for embracing the C. My son decided to make his entrance into the world about a week prior to my planned C-section date. I was feeling pretty uncomfortable when I went in for my weekly check-in with my OB/GYN. Sure enough, I was in full-on labor and was sent straight to Labor and Delivery. After another hour of labor that began to increase quickly and feeling what true labor pains felt like, I was given my meds to slow down labor and prepped for, as I lovingly refer to it, my “slicing.” And let me tell you, there is nothing fun about labor pains. Imagine someone slowly jamming steak knives under your toenails. Yep, that’s about what labor felt like. No thanks, vaginal birth. I think I’ll stick with my C-section.
But C-sections get a bad rap. Yes, I realize that there are processes that a woman’s body and a baby go through during vaginal delivery that are scientifically proven to be very healthy. But for those of us who aren’t given that choice due to complications, a C-section is a very safe, very viable way to deliver a child, and one that often saves the lives of both the mother and her child. After two Cesarean deliveries, I’m ready to share my top six reasons for why C-sections rock:
1. I knew when I would be giving birth.
I’m a planner by nature. I like to know when events are happening, like to be on time, and am not the biggest fan of surprises. A scheduled C-section is the planner’s dream! You know when that little game-changer will enter the world and can have all of your ducks in a row.
2. The entire process is over in about 45 minutes.
No two-day labor for me! I knew that my delivery would be over and done with in less than an hour. After 10 ten months of pregnancy, I was beyond ready to meet those little nuggets. No waiting around for them to make their appearance on their own. Slice, pull ’em out, ta-da…you’re a mom!
3. The recovery really wasn’t that bad.
Yes, it is major surgery, but I don’t know that my recovery from C-sections was really all that much worse than that of my friends’ vaginal deliveries. Granted, I don’t have anything to compare them to, but my assumption is that the recovery isn’t worse, just different. You hurt in different areas, and you’re sore in different places. But with a C-section, there are beautiful pain meds to ease you through the pain.
4. No pain during delivery.
Outside of my small window of labor with my second, I really felt zero pain during the delivery. Sure, you feel tugging and pulling, but all of that horrible screaming, moaning, and pain that vaginal births bring? Nope, none of it.
5. My lady parts remained as they were.
Since an item the size of a watermelon didn’t travel through a hole the size of a lemon, I didn’t really have to worry about things down below stretching out and/or sensations changing for me or for my husband. Additionally, there were no stitches or ripping in my nether-regions. Plus, plus!
6. Extra days in the hospital—sure!
Life changes drastically for moms with a newborn, whether it’s your first child or your fifth child. C-section moms are required to stay a few extra days in the hospital. My extra days of recovery also meant extra days with newborn nurses who are like your own personal baby encyclopedias. I had direct access to these geniuses to ask questions, receive hands-on training, and a little extra lactation support right on hand. With my second, I felt like I had forgotten all about how to take care of a newborn, so I loved my refresher course. Plus, I took full advantage of having someone take care of me before I came back home to reality. Meals delivered to my room, someone to assist with the baby, someone to help me get dressed—whoa, it was almost like a vacation!
So if you find yourself mourning the loss of a natural delivery, let these six positives outshine the negative and just roll with it. Happy slicing!
“It was almost like a vacation”?
“Happy slicing”?
Ew. Tacky, tacky, tacky. I don’t judge women who choose or enjoy any of the aspects of birth they have power over. I totally judge women who thrust major surgery forward as some glorious day in the sun where a baby magically appears through an abdominal zipper. Women who have serious complications and emergency cesarean sections and have a horrendous recovery find this extremely offensive, tacky, and pretty stupid.
“So if you find yourself mourning the loss of a natural delivery, let these six positives outshine the negative and just roll with it.” Awesome! Everything else: crap. F, you fail, rewrite and turn in to me next week.
Loved this post! I have had 2 c sections out of medical necessity: pre eclampsia with my first and a sub chorionic hemorrhage with my second. I’m so thankful for a medical field that can provide me with healthy babies who likely would not have made it through a vaginal birth. Would I have preferred a vaginal birth? Most definitely. But this article celebrates what I celebrate: I am alive and have healthy kids. Period. Nothing else matters in their birth stories.
Brooke, I get making your birth experience positive, and no one should ever feel that they have failed. But this just seems a little out there. I understand the need for the first c-section, but it doesn’t sound at all like the second procedure was medically necessary, more that of choice. Thankfully, we have the ability to save lives of moms and babies via cesarean when medically needed, but it frustrates me when people attempt to simplify the experience. Too many women do not educate themselves on the benefits and RISKS of procedures to make truly informed decisions. Unfortunately, they turn to friends and the internet to research other peoples views and experiences and think “oh, how easy! I can schedule, I can have my lady parts remain intact, I don’t have to feel labor, yay!” and they decide to have an elective c-section. The biggest benefit in a medically necessary situation is obvious…healthy mom and baby. In a non medically necessary procedure, the risks FAR OUT WAY the benefits. Unless of course the benefits are for scheduling, and your vagina.
I hate that phrase. “Nothing matters but a healthy baby.” Really? You don’t think your safety, health, feelings, pain matter? For many women (including me), a c-section is very scary. Many women don’t expect it and don’t realize what a real possibility it is. Saving my baby’s life? Yes! Please! BUT could you warn me, reassure me, make sure I know I have medication and will heal, and not talk about your plans on the lake next weekend while cutting me open?
Baby’s health IS number 1. Any mom will tell you that. But that doesn’t mean that mom doesn’t matter at all.
I’ve had two sections and a vba2c (vaginal birth after 2 sections). I agree that when a section is medically indicated its a wonderful thing. No mom should feel guilty for having one. But let’s not glorify them. Let’s not leave out the major risks to mother and baby. Placenta issues such as placenta previa, accreta, increta, percreta, abs abruption are on the rise with the rising section rates and they are killing mothers and babies. When a section is needed, this risk must be assumed. But let’s not put a section on a pedestal to be praised. 1. I knew when I would give birth. Well that’s great but one of the great joys of my vba2c was the ‘honey, I think it’s time’ moment for me. And also, you didn’t know when you would have your second child. So the whole planning thing didn’t quite work out then. 2. The whole thing is over in 45 minutes. I cherish every memory of every moment of my 30 vba2c! I wouldn’t wish away a sercond of it for a quick in and out! Just that many more memories for me to enjoy reflecting on. 3. The recovery wasn’t that bad. I do have both versions of delivery to compare it to and would say my vaginal recovery was more intense for about 48 hours then I felt normal. My cesarean recoveries were less intense but dragged on for two weeks before I wasn’t in any pain without those beautiful pain meds. 4. No pain during delivery. Yes my vaginal delivery was painful before I got the epidural at hour 26 but again, I welcomed it. It was my body telling me what to do to bring my baby down and out. It’s pain that exists for a reason. And then-epidural. You don’t necessarily have to experience pain during a vaginal delivery either. 5. My lady parts remained as they were. Well this is just so incredibly condescending and offensive I don’t quite know where to begin. I’ll start with, my sex life is as lovely as ever after my vaginal birth which included a small tear that healed perfectly and quickly. And secondly, a woman’s internal lady parts are at a much higher risk of needing to be removed due to placenta issues after each cesarean. Women are losing their ovaries, uteruses, cervixes, and bladders at an alarming rate due to the increase of percreta increta and accreta. I’m glad your vagina remains unstretched (which it’s made to do quite well by the way) but there are thousands of women who would take a vaginal tear over an emergency hysterectomy due to hemorrhaging during a section before they’ve finished having children any day. 6. Extra days in the hospital. Well sure, ok. I’ll give you this one if you enjoyed your stay then great. I couldn’t get home fast enough after all three of my deliveries. I understand you are trying to find the positive in an experience that is heart breaking for many women. But please try to do so without glorifying a very dangerous surgery, and without condescending to vaginal birth moms or trying to point out negatives to that experience in an attempt to paint a cesarean in a more positive light. Also, I’m so sorry you weren’t given the option to push your second child out when he/she was so clearly ready and willing. There’s something very wrong with a hospital that would stop active labor to shut down a vaginal delivery that would be so much more beneficial to you and baby just because your first child needed to be delivered by cesarean.
As a mum who had 2 csections this article makes me cringe. I wanted so badly to vbac with my son. I was told it was not possible because of my scar type, that a csection was the safe way. I nearly died from my csection. Nearly 6 months later and I’m still broken from it. I have an ileostomy and I’m on TPN for 12 hours per day. All because of this safe surgery that “rocks”. Every one of these points made me want to scream because everything was so opposite for me. I will never, ever, be the same. Women need to be truly informed of the risks.
Articles written this way just pit moms against moms (as evidence in this comment thread).
Can’t we all just celebrate the fact that we were able-bodied enough to have children, period?
There’s no right or wrong, no better or worse. Sick of women looking for excuses to one-up each other instead of lifting each other up.
I understand the intention may have started to ease the minds of women worried about a c-section, but to reeks of passive agressive digs at vaginal deliveries (ie: my vag didn’t get tore up from the floor up like yours. Plus for MY sex life!). C’mon. Let’s grow up, PLEASE.
Don’t be so sensitive. Did she tell people they SHOULD choose a c? No.
I completely agree with you. I am fully aware that this is a “Perspectives in Parenting” series and this is Brooke’s personal experience, but I do not like how each of her points of why c-sections rock is pitted directly against vaginal births, thus making it seem like the blog should be titled “Why C-sections Rock and Vaginal Births Don’t.”
The other two moms/bloggers that contributed in this series only described their experience and why they chose it without having to put other birth experiences in a negative light.
Great article! I experienced both sides of natural and csection delivery. I had mommy guilt about my first child’s csection delivery. I had a vbac and it was horrible! My son needed forceps for delivery and I ended up with a third degree tear (basically vaginal csection…ouch). My son and I endured months of trauma due to needing to prove something to the world. If I have another child, I will opt for a csection immediately! Natural birth was traumatic for my son and I.
Thank you for this article! I get nervous about having a 2nd c-section but you make me feel like it won’t be that bad and to rock it! Thanks again!
Wow. I just read through the comments.
I wish some of the commenters had read the article. She medically could not have a vaginal birth. At no point did she Advocate for unnecessary c-sections.
I tried vaginal births for both of my children. The first was an emergency c/section. The second I tried a VBAC. I did everything “right.” Labored at home with a doula, went to hospital and labored for another 10 hours, then pushed for 3 hours. The doctor spent 2.5 of those hours with her hand on the baby’s head. I still ended up with a c-section.
I’m facing my third c/section, as a team of doctors and doulas have indicated that I am in the small percentage of women who–like this author and many readers–will only survive childbirth with a c-section.
Where’s the grace for these moms? We feel shamed so often by the anti-c-section comments. Most of us would have done anything for the chance at a successful vaginal birth.
Please keep that in mind as you read articles like this. The author is encouraging moms to embrace whatever birth they medically can manage.
If you want to blast this author for her viewpoint, perhaps your energy would be better spent on self-reflection and coming to grips with your own birthing history. It took me nearly 2 years to emotionally recover from the loss of a normal birth with my first child. What wasted time. At the end of the day, all that matters is that our children thrive and we are here to see them grow every day.
Kudos, Brooke, on helping those of us facing c-sections keep some humor and acknowledge the unique opportunities presented by a csection. I know that it helped this pregnant woman today.
Thank you for this article. As I sit here holding my 2nd necessary c-section baby that I just nursed to sleep, I am thankful that a c-section was an option in what could have been a seriously complicated vaginal birth. I mourned for the birth I didn’t have for a long time, but finally realized it doesn’t matter how my babies got here, they’re here and healthy and such little blessings. You are doing a fantastic job, mama! God bless!
Thank you for sharing your story! It’s hard to embrace your cesarian and sometimes, the points that you mentioned are what we have to cling to when we didn’t get to experience the ideal birth that you had n your mind. People need to stop being so hard on cesarian mommies. We do what our doctors say to do for the health and safety of our babies and so that we can be around to love an nurture the babies as they grow! Stop the judgement, y’all!
I understand you needed you’re csection. But most csections are done not due to emergency. I had 3 csections none of them were emergencies and all for different reasons. No one told me after my 2nd I could vbac. If I get preg again and I’m hoping to vbac but I will have to fight to vbac.
I’m concerned about your article you make csections sound like they aren’t a big deal. None of my 3 were easy to heal from. I had problems for years.
I do worry that articles like this make it harder for women to vbac. People’s attitudes today is why vbac when you can plan your surgery. A csection is major surgery and not something to take lightly and this attitude is alarming. I think this is why you’re glib tone in your blog post is alarming.
Brooke – I appreciate your perspective. It’s clear that your cesareans were both medically indicated and in the best interest of you and your children. That said, I do understand why many women find this post upsetting. We have an epidemic of unnecessary cesareans in our country. America spends the most on healthcare, yet we have some of the highest maternal and infant mortality rates. In fact, our maternal mortality rate is rising. The cesarean rate has become so concerning, that the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) released an Obstetric Care Consensus specifically aimed at preventing primary cesareans. Many women are finding themselves in situations in which they are encouraged to be induced for no medical reason leading to cesarean or have cesareans without a trial of labor. Often, they don’t realize until well after the fact that their doctors have betrayed their trust and have not practiced based on the best evidence.
That primary cesarean forever changes their obstetrical future. They are now considered high risk despite the fact that ACOG says that VBAC is a safe and reasonable option for most women after one or even two cesareans. Many doctors still refuse to attend them or hospitals outright ban them leaving this women with little choice on how they deliver. In other situations, their doctors only present the cons and fail to have a true honest conversation about the risks and benefits of future cesareans vs VBAC.
This is a very charged topic because finding a doctor to attend a repeat cesarean is easy. Finding one to attend a VBAC can be extremely difficult. These types of posts can be very triggering for someone in this situation because it appears to downplay the risks of cesareans and to make light of what truly is a serious surgery. We all agree that medically necessary cesareans can be life saving. Unfortunately for many women, their cesareans cause more harm than good.
So well said Ashley! I have had four csections and there was nothing wonderful about the serious complications that arose directly related to multiple sections. This post sounds so glib! I should have focused on the “benefits” such as the extended hospital stay and intact vagina (oh wait, they had to reconstruct my vagina when they had to remove my cervix) while I lay dying on the table. Not as much pain? I felt six hands working inside of me at once as they performed the emergency hysterectomy! The spinal wore off and I was totally awake! My husband was told to kiss me and tell me that he loved me before they bundled our fourth baby and handed her to him and shoved him out the doors. For three hours my mother and husband sat waiting to hear if I had made it through surgery. This post completely ignores the risks associated with repeat sections. Please google “placenta accreta” if any of you are making the vbac/repeat section decision. I wish I would have pushed harder for the vbac for my second baby.
I had a vbac and my c section recovery was much easier, I wish I had had a repeat c. SO everyone’s recovery is different no matter what route they go, generalizing is not helpful.
My first was a vaginal birth and my second was a c section. I for sure mourned over knowing I would have to a c section (emergency c section at 27 weeks). I need to learn to embrace the C! If I have another child it will have to be a c section.
I will say, my c section recovery was much worse than my vaginal. OUCH!
Having had two vaginal births as well as a cesarean, in my experiencs, a cesarean delivery has a much more difficult recovery than most vaginal deliveries. And while a vagina is made to stretch and then completely heal up, a cut abdominal wall is never the same. Mine is numb 8 years later. I respect a woman’s right to make her own decision about how to give birth, and I am happy whenever a woman has an empowering birth experience, I am very concerned when I hear someone promote the idea that cesareans are easier than vaginal births.
Hi Brooke,
I read your blog post with much interest as I too had a c-section first time around and am now in the process of deciding on a VBAC or RCS for second bub. Was so surprised to see why you elected for the c-section with first baby – the exact same reason as me 🙂 Well, I’m assuming it was an omphalocele? Are you in the MOO group?
Hi Dimity – yes, fellow MOO group member too! Thank you for taking the time to read. How is your O baby? My sweet girl is 4, healthy and growing (too fast!) with one final abdominal repair surgery in her future. I love that I’ve been able to use ACMB as a way to spread O awareness. You can read some of the pieces I’ve written on being a MOO here:
https://alamocitymoms.com/2015/01/28/the-ties-that-bind-us-my-child-has-a-birth-defect/
https://alamocitymoms.com/2013/08/26/dont-let-me-forget-looking-back-on-my-unconventional-pregnancy/
My o baby is almost 2 and is doing great. He was able to have primary closure at 24 hours. Your blog post was shared in a VBAC group I’m a part of by a woman who has chosen to have a RCS and your experiences really resonated with her. The group is actually very supportive of both VBAC and RCS. Thanks for the links to more reading 🙂
While the reasons for my C-section are a lot different from yours, I had a similar recovery. Not a ton of pain, I felt almost normal by the 5th day. I only stayed one extra day in the hospital. I did go through labor, but failed to progress, which is what led to the cesarean. In retrospect, I am grateful that I didn’t have to put my vagina through the trauma of childbirth.
However, I would never elect to have another C-section. I chose to be induced because I was so impatient and tired of being pregnant that I couldn’t wait until the following Monday. I wanted her before the weekend. At the beginning of my pregnancy, I was dead-set on having a medication-free birth with and I ended up with the exact opposite.
It has been over a year and I still cry when I think about my birth experience. I love my daughter, but I can’t help but with things had gone differently.
When I think of having another baby again, the only thing keeping me from wanting to try again is the possibility that I may have to undergo another C-section. I really wish you had painted the pros and cons in this article, because there are probably more than 6 reasons why a c-section doesn’t rock.
The problem with that is that everyone knows the pros of having a vaginal birth but that people who are having c sections don’t know about all of the (honestly) great upsides. Reiterating the pros (again , yawn) of a vaginal birth is for a different article as this one is about the author’s experiences. .. and she never had a vaginal birth.
My son was born vaginally… But it wasn’t my vagina! He is every bit my son and I am experiencing motherhood as my mother and grandmother did! Loving every minute of my adoptive sons life. Different route same destination!
I loved this post! Thanks for being honest about your experience. I’ve had two vaginal births so my experience was very different than yours, but I didn’t feel that you were trying to say csections are better or that someone should choose to have an elective csection…I just read it that you were offering encouragement to women who found themselves facing a csection when it wasn’t what they had hoped or pictured for themselves. I don’t get the negative comments at all other than maybe those posters are just against csections in general. I hate how militant moms can be about their views. i don’t think it does their cause any good and is super insensitive to those that feel differently.
Hi Brooke! After seeing you at lunch today, I had to come on here and reiterate in the comments what I said to you in person, which is that you are an AMAZING mom, a beautiful writer, and truly such an advocate for all moms out there. I applaud your candor in this post, and am thankful for a friend like you who does always see the postive over the negative. Don’t let any of the mean comments get you down. You are so good at what you do, and our community is better for people like you who encourage so many others! xoxo Lauren
I find this type of writing dangerous, honestly. It is not about being snarky or mean, but your writing seems to be only serving one purpose….to make yourself feel better and I think it can and should be done (you coping that is) in a less dangerous more therapeutic way; this is not it…trust me….and the reason I can say this is because of the how many lives you may be effecting negatively and dangerously for others. My goodness…you didn’t even mentioned the primary and most serious and ONLY reason for C-section….that momma lives and that baby lives…that part, to me, is very hard to grasp. I mean, you certainly should have covered the fact that a c-sections saves a life, yet you are talking about your vagina not being changed….insane! I feel charged about this. Can you not argue that the rates of c-sections in America are at EPIDEMIC levels? Surgery…for no reason a lot of the time….really? The complication risk is great..it just is, no matter how “convenient” it is. I read this article because I actually had a c-section an it was an awful experience, one I would not wish on ANYOne I had 5 natural amazing births then c-section due to a cord prolapse…then on to a beautiful and amazing VBAC..which you did not mention? A dangerous form of self soothing….and not even factual.
Every birth experience is different. I’m sorry if your C-section was traumatic, that sounds terrible. Mine was wonderful and after a day of labor was the right path for us. It’s actually *your* writing that is dangerous, not the author’s. Unless you are the author’s physician, you have no say in whether a VBAC was appropriate or what the risk of complication is for anyone. We are all trying to get to the same destination — a healthy baby.
Great article! I had a vaginal birth and am expecting another soon, but if I have a c-section, that’s fine! It’s about our babies, not us. I especially laughed at the comments about our nether regions going back to normal. I’m happy for those women…and jealous. It doesn’t quite happen that way when there’s a bad tear, months of recovery, and continued pain years later. Oh, and thanks for bringing out the positives in a c-section! You’re making it easier for women who may have to go through the same thing in the future.
Oh my gosh Brooke. I have never read any of your stuff but your article popped up on a Mommy blog I follow. I am soo horrified by all these mean comments. It really makes me lose faith in humanity (or at least mamas) I am no stranger to this parenting gig and I can’t even begin to think about saying some of the awful things moms are saying to you. Did I have your exact experience? No. I did labor, I felt some pain when they yanked my almost 8 pound sweet baby out of me and I was terrified at my 4am emergency c-section. But I realize we are all snowflakes and no one’s experience is the same. I commend you for finding the silver lining in this. I am so sorry other Moms are being so awful. I promise we aren’t all like that.
Some of the people commenting on here are just being JERKS. There, I said it. Personally, I like the attitude Brooke is taking about this. I also had to have C-Sections and it was very scary (especially the first time around). But instead of being upset about not having a VBac, I also embraced the bonus of a C-Section. I have a positive attitude about life… so why not?? Anyway… bottom line. This is BROOKE’S BODY and Brooke’s story. I wish I would have read this before I had my Csections, maybe I wouldn’t have been so scared and worried. Because yes… after it was all said and done, it wasn’t as bad as I had imagined it. In the end, she is a mother just like most of us commenting on here. Let’s be supportive and celebrate babies! no matter how they got here!!
Brooke, I am so sorry for some of the comments on here. I understand we as women can disagree on something, but you can express that without using mean or hurtful language. I for one appreciate that this was a blog post meant to find the positives in c-sections and came from your personal experience. However, the blog title is a bit misleading because it makes the 6 points sound like universal truths about c-sections rather than your personal experience. Maybe if it were titled “Top Six Reasons MY C-sections Rocked,” some of these moms wouldn’t have become so offended. I had a pretty difficult recovery and something I struggle with is when people make c-sections seem like a luxury and the easy way out rather than a major procedure.
Again, I am grateful for your attitude and finding the positive in what for me was not an ideal situation. I am so grateful for c-sections that can save lives like your daughter and my son that otherwise probably wouldn’t be here. God bless!
Bravo, Brooke! Thank you for sharing your truth. This piece and your conversations speak to the way you persistently and thoughtfully strive to bring moms together above their differences. At times, mothering and the world in general can be a rough. We’re not always handed the path we planned. When we can respect, support and understand each other the world becomes a bigger better place to be. Thank you for the series and this piece. <3
Brooke,
Well-done; the attitude to have, for sure. I am appalled by some of these comments. For those insinuating you are glorifying C-Sections, perhaps they could reread parts of your post? “Like many women I know, I mourned the loss of a vaginal birth. My opportunity to experience childbirth like my mother, my grandmother, and generations before me would not be so. It took me about three weeks to get over the loss of traditional childbirth, but once I did, I began to “embrace the C,” focusing on the benefits I’d see through a C-section.”
I had two c-sections, both after 15+ hours of natural labor. I advocated and received VBAC support for my second child, but it wasn’t in the plans for me. I didn’t walk away feeling like I missed out on something, I walked away grateful my babies got out of me alive and healthy. For anyone who ends up needing a cesarean, no matter amount of prior knowledge they have of that birth path, I recommend asking for a family-centered cesarean. After having one the second time around, it was a beautiful birth.
Bravo to you on this post, and I completely agree with all six reasons!
way to go momma! Congrats on a positive birthing experience, and embracing your labor and situations.
Shes looking at the positives, why is that a crime? Us c section moms can be happy with our birth experience too ya know! I enjoyed not being in labour for days and the benefits of medical science. And before anyone starts a breastfeeding debate , that c sections make it impossible, well I breastfed for 15 months after a c section and recovered super fast. Stop making anti c section comments. It works well for quite alot of us!
Thank you for reading Carrie! I too successfully breastfed both of my children. I’m happy to hear you had such a good experience.
I would kill for this attitude and I wish my experience went the way hers too. However. I feel the complete opposite. I would do anything to experience a vaginal birth just once. It consumes me and breaks my heart that I probably never will get it. This is literally something that has affected me for two years. Keep posting though. Your attitude is exactly what people like me need. It helps enlighten something that is not an ideal situation.
Thank you for your comments Payton, and I’m sorry to hear about your bad experience. I appreciate your positive feedback and hang in there mama. You are right, C-sections are not an ideal situation but for those of us not given a choice, I believe we need to focus on the good.
I think it’s worth noting that your experience with a C-section was much different than the typical situations where women have to undergo it. You found out early on in your pregnancy that you would have to have a C-section which gave you much more time to prepare (versus those of us who are told it needs to happen and needs to happen now, given no time to prepare). You didn’t have to undergo hours and hours (17 for me) of labor, seeming to progress towards a vaginal birth, to then have the heartbreaking news that you won’t be able to deliver vaginally. That does a number on your mental, emotional and physical state. Also, stating that a C-section is “pain free” is not applicable to every woman. The tugging and pulling for me was extremely painful and excruciating. I developed a high fever and had the shakes for over an hour after delivery. I won’t even go into how difficult my recovery was. I appreciate your perspective and I’m grateful that modern science allows for our children to be delivered safely, but I think this article should be alternately titled, “6 Reasons C-Sections Rocked For Me,” because your experience isn’t true of all women and the title can be really misleading.
Thank you for reading and for your comments, Susan. As we stated at the beginning of the post, this is part of our Perspectives Series and I wrote on my personal perspective and experience. I think different women could read all of our contributors’ posts from this series and say they had a different experience, some good, some not so good. I wrote about the positive for me and my family. If you choose to have more children, I hope your next delivery, whether it be vaginal or C-section is a safe and healthy and one you can celebrate.
Sweet Brooke so glad you are always able to see the good in the not so ideal situation. Your first c-section literally saved your daughter’s life and a second c-section is usually recomended.
After reading the comments it made me think about the blog that’s been going around where she talks about her friend “getting it” because she’s a mom, she knows. As one mommy to another, I get it. Your choice for your little family is just that, your choice. My first daughter was vaginal, my second was a c-section with triplets and my third was a nessesary c-section and all were unique and wonderful experiences. You understand, your a mom. Thank you for sharing your story in a lighthearted way. I doubt pregnant women are running to their doctors and demanding a c-section because you “glorified” it, you simple embraced where life brought you with a big smile on your face. Well done.
Thank you Candice! And thank you for being such an amazing advocate for your children. You are pretty incredible mama!
Appalling. Way to glorify what many women find to be a life changing awful experience. Lots of women fight for VBACS and vaginal births in general. This does a disservice to all of us women out here fighting for better birth environment at the hospital. Btw- you seem to be misinformed about the awesomeness which is your vagina. God designed it to go back to normal after childbirth.
Wow! Attitudes like that are why c-section mamas are made to feel like their birth didn’t count. I love this post and I loved all three of my c-sections! Also, I do think my vagina is awesome…and I like it just the way it is and just find with it not having been “stretched.” It doesn’t always go back to normal, as I’ve heard from LOTS of friends. No matter how your baby arrived, it’s a beautiful experience and ALL moms should be able to celebrate their births without backlash. Great post Brooke!
Thanks Beth!
Wow, people need to lighten up here. She was simply sharing her experience and her perspective and choosing to be grateful. I had two natural childbirths (including twins the second time) and had a very different experience than she did- but neither is better or worse. I highly doubt she would ever criticize anyone else’s labor or delivery. Great post and I love how you are sharing so many perspectives!
You’re right…it’s her experience, her perspective, and her right to share. But it’s an emotionally charged topic and there’s no way she wrote this article using the language that she did without knowing it was going to cause a stir. She did not title it “Reasons I loved my c-section” or “Finding the positives in c-section”. The very title “Top Six Reasons Why C-Sections Rock”, and then pitting every single one of those reasons against vaginal birth, sends the message that c-sections should be the preferred method of birth. I would love to see a follow-up addressing the negatives of c-sections…not just the things that make it uncomfortable right after it happens, but the long-term effects that it can have and the potential dangers it poses in future pregnancies.
Jenn, I’d love to give you a little insight on why I wrote this article because your assumptions are off. I am a strong advocate and spokesperson in the world of Omphalocele moms, the condition that my own daughter was born with. January 31 was Omphalocele Awareness Day and January was National Birth Defect Awareness Month. I am coming off of a month celebrating children and moms of children with birth defects. Many of those have no option BUT a C-section to bring their children into the world healthy and alive. These moms are feeling shamed for one more thing in their life. They mourn the loss of a healthy baby, they mourn the loss of normalcy, and then they have to mourn the loss of a vaginal birth. This was not written to “cause a stir.” This was written to give moms that have walked the walk I have hope, written to let them know that they can see positives in a seemingly negative situation, written to uplift and to inspire those moms. If you haven’t been in those shoes then it’s hard to understand. In no way was this intended to send a message that C-sections are preferred. As I stated, I too wanted a vaginal, non-medical birth but that was not an option for me in any way. I personally had a great experience with both of my deliveries. There are positive and negative experiences with every kind of birth (vaginal, medicated, natural, home, C-section). As series title explains, this is a Perspectives series and I wrote from my perspective, a positive one. I choose to look at the good in this situation which are my two, healthy, incredible children with a mother that’s alive and healthy enough to take care of them. They were brought into this world via C-section and I celebrate their arrival. I would encourage anyone to write about their experience whether it was positive or not but hope that we can encourage and uplift one another, not perpetuate another mom war. Don’t we have enough of those?
Now *that’s* the kind of writing I would have preferred to see in this article. It has passion. It has feeling. It has depth. Writing like this would have changed my whole perspective on this article.
I’m a c-section mom too. I get where you’re coming from. I know what it’s like to grieve the birth that didn’t go as planned. Like you, I’m incredibly grateful that c-sections are available to those of us who need them.
However…
I found the whole “slice ’em, dice ’em” angle to be a huge turn-off. Maybe you were going for a bit of satire here, but I think for many women (based on the comments I read in the FB post that originally brought me here), it came off as incredibly harsh. Those who had c-sections under difficult circumstances felt like your attitude was flippant. Are there silver linings to be found? Hopefully! Could they have been presented in a more appropriate way? Absolutely. IMO, you did as much to drive the mommy wars with the angle you took with this article as those who responded negatively toward it.
Thanks Alisa!
I totally agree, Brooke! I had to have a c-section 2 days post my due date because of complications and oddly enough, I embraced it. Perhaps because my own mom had 3. There are definitely some “benefits” but some people made me feel weird/guilty and worst of all – like I had done something terrible to my child. Thank you for your perspective!
Thanks Shannan!
Ummmm what?! What about not being able to hold your baby after birth?! Or the months of recovery and pain? Or being unable to get out of bed to change your baby for the first few days?! I waited my entire life to hold my child and I can’t even remember the day she was born. I understand everyone is different…but c-sections are NOT ideal
Tess, I agree. They aren’t ideal, but in both of my situations, absolutely crucial. I wasn’t able to hold my daughter due to her medical issues until her second week and it was heart breaking so I understand that pain. Hospitals and doctors are making changes that will allow for C-section moms to hold their babies throughout the final stages of their surgery and I encourage moms to speak to their doctors about this option. I love hearing that women who must have C-sections for the necessity of the life of their child and their lives can still experience these precious first seconds of their child being brought into this world. This was written to encourage those moms that are facing a C-section and ONLY hearing the negative. Not ideal but when crucial, a safe way to bring babies and moms at risk through the process.
I have had 3 csections (first 2 pregnancies the baby was breech- last csection elective so never experienced labour)- and i agree with so much in this article :). . .i found out a week and a half before the first csection that the baby was breech and while i too mourned the fact that i would not have a “normal” vaginal birth i quickly began to see the postives and i cant imagine birthing any other way!! Also i am from Canada and immediately held my babies (in a awkward postion though lol) within 6 mins of their birth so i didnt feel like i missed out there and breastfeeding no issue either. . .actually i think its pretty special that my husband got to be the first “official” (drs and nurses dont count lol) person to hold each of our 3 beautiful daughters :). So many people have commented or remarked that i “cheated” or “poor you” when i tell them how they were born but i dont feel that way and i hope this article is able to help other mothers feel and realize that csection can be perfect biths too 😀
“Slice, pull ‘em out, ta-da…you’re a mom!”
Wow. Sounds amazing. Sign me up.
Seriously though…I get that the point of this article is attempting to find the silver lining in a c-section. But it got all sorts of uncomfortable when it went from that to “bring on the c-section…there’s no better/easier way to give birth”.
Having had both vaginal and cesarean deliveries, I *can* make the comparison, and none of these six reasons are worth having a c-section voluntarily. Use it when it’s needed, not when it isn’t. And by all means, don’t glorify it like it’s akin to a dream vacation.
It is Moms like you that make the mommy wars oh so real. I am horrified at all the mean mommies out there. My beautiful son is almost 8 and after 14 hours of labor his plummeting heart rate landed me in the OR. Although my story doesn’t follow this woman’s exactly who am I to put down, judge or criticize?? We mommies should be so ashamed that we feel the need to put other moms down instead of singing each others praises. She wrote a personal article about her personal experience. Shame on you for being so ugly and hateful.
Wow. This article was all over the place, not to mention ridiculous! I’m happy your recovery was great but to make a MAJOR ABDOMINAL SURGERY out to be no big deal is sickening! I was bullied into TWO non-medically needed c-sections both of which caused complications for myself-almost dying- and my children- breathing issues. I also was knocked out due to the fact epidural do not work. I was the last to see or hold my first 2 kids. I was so drugged up I don’t remember either of their first few weeks of life. Even tho the recovery for my 2nd was a little better, I would NEVER let them bully me again. If there is a TRUE medical reason- not the bs lies made up- than I would consent to one. Labor is what it says it is, labor. Its not meant to be relaxing or easy its work. Work to get your Baby born the way our bodies were made to birth. Again life threatening PROVEN medical issue I’m all for a C. Convience, easier, “rocking” c-section, count me out! My successful vaginal delivery was the best moment of my life. All the pain was worth it. I didn’t tear but would have GLADLY taken a tear over having myself gutted and my babies ripped out. Maybe you should put a disclaimer saying ” results not typical” b/c I belong to several groups where women had C’s and they weren’t ” rockin!’ I agree with Rebecca ppl who glamorize a C makes it harder for those who WANT a vaginal birth and we have to fight harder.
Jen – I’m so sad that you were forced into delivering your children in a way that wasn’t what you wanted. As I stated, my daughter was born with an Omphalocele. Her liver and the majority of her intestines were on the outside of her body covered by a very thin layer of tissue. With Omphalocele deliveries, keeping the tissue from rupturing is crucial, hence, the majority of “O babies” are born via C-section. I was also not able to hold my daughter until her second week of life which was heartbreaking but absolutely crucial. And just as a woman’s body is perfectly made, she breastfed until 10 months when I became pregnant with her brother. Today, my sweet girl is a snuggler and is healthy and thriving. Her brother was born via C-section since my incision was so large with my daughter that it was the only choice. It was right for me and my family, for our health and safety, and agree that if a vaginal birth would have been possible, I would have loved it. However, it wasn’t so I choose to look at the positive for all of the moms that find themselves in my position. Please keep advocating for what you are passionate about and thank you for supporting moms who would like options.
Just so you and anyone who reads this article knows: your vagina will stretch and then it will go back to normal. Because it’s a ring of muscles and that’s what muscles do. I mean, You don’t try to shove a massive burger in your mouth and then worry that your mouth will be all stretched out forever “for your husband” do you?
Leanne – that analogy might be one of the best I’ve read in a year! Thank you for your comments and pointing that out.
great article, Brooke! I’ve had a baby come out of my body both ways, no matter how you slice it, ejecting a baby from your body HURTS! I love # 6. I took total advantage after the birth of my 3rd baby and stayed the full 4 nights allowed by my insurance. I had someone bringing me 3 meals a day, bringing me narcotics for my pain, taking and caring for my baby so I could snooze. Sometimes I miss that place…
Thanks Kira!
i can’t even believe what I just read. Ridiculous. As a mommy that had fought hard for VBAC rights and had 2 csections this makes me SICK. There is not one word of this that makes sense. At all. And women like you are making it tougher for women like me that WANT vaginally births after cesarean. Gross. You make me sick and I feel extremely sad for you.
Rebecca – thank you for your comments. Good for you for being such an amazing advocate for moms that weren’t given the choice for a vaginal birth the first time around to still experience it. Regardless of where we stand on heated topics, we need to be advocates for each other and I love hearing that you are fighting for moms in similar situations. It’s unfortunate that you feel sad for me because that’s the last thing I feel. I have two beautiful children who are alive and healthy and were brought into this world with much care and preparation. As I mentioned, my daughter would have risked death with a vaginal delivery and my incision was so large due to that that a VBAC was not an option for me for my second delivery. I choose to look at the good in how my children entered this world. Keep up the good fight but please don’t feel the need to fight with me. I support you and your efforts and just want moms to know there is hope whatever their situation may be.
Rebecca, about 10 years ago when i was a nursing student i was wathing a birth, a VBAC. She had 2 boys at home and her dr let her try a vbac. During labor her uterus ruptured and we barely got the baby out, mom died. I’ll never forget that for as long as i live, or the dads face as he left the hospuital that day. I’ll never take the chane of putting my family through that nor will i ever advocate the VBAC. A friend recently was told there was about an 80% chance she could have a VBAC. 20% is a big risk to me. I’ve been called selfish and uninformed about my choice to have continued csections and mostly by people like you that think a vaginal birth is the only way to go. Sometimes it’s the safest. By the way your attitude makes me sick. Great article Brooke i’ll be looking for more from you for sure!
My first baby was in distress and was born by emergency c section. When it came time to have my 2nd, I took the “safe” route and skipped my vbac Ashley. I hemmoraged internally from my c section which made me suffer seizures, plummeting vitals, bowel death requiring an emergency laparotomy and resection, and a mini stroke. I didn’t die only by the grace of God. I now have an ileostomy and a central line and I’m dependent on TPN. I’m so lucky to even have my life still, but it will never be the same. All because I took the “safe” route of having another csection. I know this will not happen to everyone. But honestly, at least if I vbac’d and ruptured, they’d be looking for that like a hawk. No one expected there to be anything wrong from my csection and for an entire day I was told it was just regular surgery pain I was experiencing. It took the seizures for them to actually look into it and realize I was literally dying inside.
I feel sad for you that you need to get on the internet and bully someone. I mean seriously “you make me sick” What is wrong with mommies out there that feel this is ok. As a mom to an 18,16,11 and 7 year old I find women like you disturbing. The bully behind the keyboard. What are we teaching are kids when we think its ok to behave like this??
None of these were true for me.
Thank you for your comments, Ginny. Like any kind of child birth (home, medicated, natural or C-section), there are a variety of experiences. I can only speak to mine. If you have future deliveries, I hope they are beautiful regardless of how they take place.