Motherhood comes with a host of choices to make about what is best for you, your family, and your child. We at Alamo City Moms Blog have a variety of moms who want to embrace these choices instead of feeling guilty or judged for them! We are continuing our series, Perspectives in Parenting, with a look at childbirth. Four of our contributors will share their experiences – Amy’s natural childbirth, Brooke’s C-section, and Denise’s home birth.
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Let me start by saying that if you chose not to have an epidural during childbirth, you are a warrior. I know several women who went that route, and I admire them for it and am in awe of their incredible strength. That being said, if you did choose to have an epidural with any or all of your deliveries, I am equally amazed by you. The idea of giving birth without an epidural was never a thought in my mind, but I know some moms think long and hard about it, and it simply is not an option for many mothers.
My mom gave birth to my older sister (her first baby) naturally, and in her own words, “learned her lesson” and opted for an epidural with my younger sister and me. My sister give birth to her first child two months before my first was born, so I had a front-row seat to see if having an epidural really was as wonderful as I had heard. In my sister’s case, her lower body was so numb after her injection that she was physically unable to push her baby out because she had no idea where she was in the process. In the end, she was able to deliver her daughter vaginally; but being that this was my first pregnancy (and I had no clue what I was in for), it gave me a false impression that I would have the same experience.
I always knew I wanted to have an epidural when giving birth, even before I was pregnant. I hate to say it, but I honestly did not enjoy being pregnant. Judge me if you wish, but I was miserable. My friends stopped asking how I was doing because they could see it on my face. The picture above is laughable, because literally the next day I met my good friend the porcelain god, and we were inseparable until the day my son entered the world. I was literally sick every day, multiple times a day. So let’s just say the last thing I wanted to look forward to was what I imagined to be unbearable pain during the birth of my son.
The second I walked into the delivery room I asked for the epidural. I didn’t care if a nurse or someone from the cafeteria staff walked into my room, I asked them for the epidural. My contractions were increasing by the minute, and I wasn’t having ANY of it. After what seemed like an eternity, a bright light appeared from my hospital room door, and it was him…my anesthesiologist was FINALLY HERE! You would have thought Christian Grey had just walked into the room. I suddenly perked up and wanted to leap into his arms to give him a big hug for finally coming to save me. I think I had more anxiety about the process and pain of the epidural injection than I did the actual birth of my son. I remember the anesthesiologist saying, “OK, just a small sting and then you will feel as though you are stepping into a warm bath.” HA! As if I couldn’t have loved him more at that moment! OK, Doc, no sweat. Just go ahead with that little injection, and I’ll be in my warm bath. Thanks! As I was enjoying my new numbness, I vaguely remembered he’d mentioned a button and said something along the lines of, “Just press it if you need a little extra relief.” Sure, Doc, no problem. I’ve got this! It’s kind’of a blur, obviously, but I remember thanking him more than I had ever thanked anyone in my entire life.
Fast-forward about three hours… The nurses were all prepped, and my OB/GYN was on her way. It was go time. I’d started to feel more and more pressure, and my little man was ready. I will never forget what happened next. I still remember it vividly almost five years later. My husband sat at the end of the bed and started rubbing my feet…and I. Felt. Everything. I screamed at my poor husband, “I FEEL THAT! WHY DO I FEEL THAT?! WHERE’S MY BUTTON?!” In a panic, I pressed the infamous epidural button feverishly, desperate for some relief. There was just no way I could do this the way every other woman on the planet had done for eternity.
I had this vision in my head of feeling no pain and a baby magically appearing in my lap, but there was no turning back at this point. I felt everything, and it was beautiful. I couldn’t have hoped for a more perfect delivery. I knew where my baby was at every moment, and in turn, knew exactly when I needed to push. It was one of the most physically challenging things I have ever done; but as they say, you forget all the pain the moment your first-born child is placed in your arms. Full disclosure: I remember every ounce of pain, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
I like to describe the birth of both of my children as “natural with a side of epidural.” Oddly enough, my delivery was exactly the same with my second child. I felt amazing for about three hours and then the minute sister was ready to see the world, I started to feel everything. I don’t regret having an epidural for a second; and I will certainly do it again if my husband and I decide to have more children in the future. I always like to say that while it didn’t completely numb my lower half, it certainly took the edge off—and that is exactly what I’d hoped for.
No matter your plan of action, know that the moments before, during, and after you give birth will be some of the best moments of your life. All kidding aside, you do forget any pain you may have experienced seconds earlier. You’ll remember it later, but for a moment, I promise you do forget. Your heart will absolutely burst with love, and you will want nothing more than to be with your precious new baby.
Was I exhausted? Yes. Did I feel pain? Yes. But frankly, I cannot imagine how painful natural childbirth must be, considering I most likely had 1/4 of the pain thanks to the little numbness I had left. This is my story, but the fact is, every woman’s body is different, every woman’s tolerance for pain is different, and every delivery is different. If you have never given birth before, I would encourage you to be honest with yourself and think long and hard about your birthing options. Ultimately you must make the choice that is right for you and your baby. About 99% of the time, things don’t go according to plan when it comes to childbirth, so don’t feel like a failure or let any sort of change bring your spirits down. In the end, let the trained professionals around you help you decide what’s best to safely deliver your baby into this world. Both of my deliveries were amazing, and I don’t believe they would have gone as smoothly had it not been for the help of a very patient husband, wonderful medical team, and of course the magic of the epidural.
