If we had a time machine and could travel back just one year ago, you’d find me wandering my house with a lump in my throat gazing lovingly at my eldest daughter. The thought of her leaving me for six hours a day to go to Kindergarten turned me into a wreck. As you may recall, I had considered any and all options to avoid sending her and cried once a week.
You may be wondering how the year turned out. Did both of us cry for 180 days? Was she involved in a playground gang scuffle? Was her teacher straight out of The Teacher from The Black Lagoon?
Actually, it all turned out to be pretty great. Don’t get me wrong: the moment I dropped her off in the classroom on the first day of school was probably one of the hardest of my life. She sat bravely at her desk and calmly opened her brand new box of crayons, all with a quivering lower lip. I gave her a quick kiss, and then my husband shoved me into the hallway, where I burst into tears on the shoulder of my neighbor. Later, Molly told me, “Mommy, I really missed you. I didn’t cry, though.” But while that first day was tough, the rest of the year has been wonderful. Here are a few things you can look forward to when your child starts school.
You become a part of a community.
My neighbors and I waved to each other every day, but didn’t know each other very well before this school year started. Now, we take each other’s kids to school and are on each other’s emergency contact forms. I have gotten to know other moms in Molly’s class and consider some friends. We usually see classmates and schoolmates at HEB or The Point on the weekends. Having children at the same school has made us feel like a community with a common goal (our kids’ education) rather than residents of the same neighborhood.
Your child makes friends.
If I asked Molly what she likes best about school, she would say her friends. She had friends before school started, but nothing compares to the relationships she’s formed this year. Her friends write her sweet little notes and sing to her on her birthday. She squeals with delight at seeing her friends at after-school events. Her friends have taught her compassion and empathy. It’s been fun to see her develop the beginnings of lifelong friendships.
You spend time with your other child(ren).
On the first day of school, Sadie (then three) said, “Yay! Now Molly’s room will be my room, and Molly’s toys will be my toys!” After she got over the shock of discovering that Molly would return home in a few hours, she and I enjoyed our time together. We go to play dates and on shopping trips together, and I’ve rediscovered the joy of going to HEB with just one child. A friend told me that she still remembers how much fun she had with her mom when her older sisters were in school, and that made a big impression on me. I’m determined to enjoy the last year with Sadie alone before she, too, heads off to school.
Your child figures out how to solve problems on his/her own.
One of the many, many fears I had before sending Molly to school was that she would need help and no one would help her. I pictured her in the cafeteria, clueless as to how to open her yogurt, or tripping over shoelaces no one would help her tie. As the year went on, I learned that having no one to help her solve her problems was not actually a bad thing. Don’t get me wrong: she wasn’t aimlessly wandering the hallways crying for help, and she wasn’t in actual physical danger with no one to assist her. But she learned that she could try her best to tie her shoes on her own (and I learned to send her in Velcro). She became more self-sufficient, and as her guidance counselor told her, “You should never give up when you’re trying something new.” Self-sufficiency turned out to be a pretty great thing.
You get some time to miss each other.
Molly and I had never really been apart for very long, save for the few hours each week when she was in Sunday School or childcare at the gym. At the end of the school day, I look forward to picking her up and spending time with her. The hours we spend together in the afternoons now have become more meaningful, and I find myself paying closer attention to what she has to say and trying to soak in the details of her day.
So, Kindergarten turned out to be a rare occasion when I was wrong. We’re looking forward to spending summer together, and then it’s off to first grade! Just be prepared to console me again when Sadie starts Kindergarten.
