Passionate About San Antonio
and the Moms Who Live Here

Modern Day Mom Shaming: Think Before You Type

OK, so I may be a little biased, but one of the many things I love about Alamo City Moms Blog (ACMB) is the variety of stories we share each day with you, our wonderful readers. Our team has experienced amazing growth since the blog first launched, and as one of the now 27 women on our contributor team, I am in constant awe of the diversity of content we share with you each day. Whether you’re an avid reader or just an occasional visitor, I guarantee you will find a post that speaks to you. I personally follow several blogs and at times find it almost impossible not to feel a special connection to the authors in some way, shape, or form when reading their posts. I’m certain you have felt the same way, too! Some of our posts are laugh-out-loud funny, while others leave me teary and heartbroken for my fellow ACMB sisters. For example, one just recently took an enormously brave leap and shared her soul for the world to see in hopes that others might relate or perhaps find comfort in knowing they are not alone in whatever challenge they may face.

I am often asked if we ACMB contributors choose what we want to write about. The answer is yes. While we love to write about feel-good (and sometimes not-so-good) mommy moments, tips and tricks, and the events and people that make up our beautiful city, we also strive to take our content a step further. We try to push the envelope at times and dig a little deeper into topics that other mamas may or may not want to talk about but desperately need to hear. Do we realize the potential storm of conflicting comments that may come flooding in? Yes. But do we post it anyway? Absolutely.

Let me be clear: I love and encourage a good dialogue of differing opinions among our readers. But what I find obnoxious (and sometimes humorous) is when a reader—who is clearly super fired up about the topic at hand—comments in such a way as to challenge the writer and say, “How dare you post something like this?” This, my friends, is the blessing—and curse—of the “blogosphere.” We at ACMB are just a few of the billions of mothers who choose to publicly share our thoughts, successes, and struggles in all of the beautiful and messy facets of our lives, and I personally wouldn’t have it any other way. I think I speak for most writers when I say I sincerely appreciate and respect readers who take the time to read our thoughts and opinions, particularly when they share their comments (good and bad) to let us know what they think. All writers work hard to produce, edit, and post content that they hope will resonate with their readers, but it saddens me when I see readers utilize the comments section as a tool to publicly shame a writer. You may be thinking, “Well, that’s what you get for posting anything on the internet these days.” And yes, I agree—but there’s a point where one crosses the line between respectfully sharing a differing opinion and straight-up shaming the writer.

Here are a few simple steps I suggest that readers take prior to posting negative comments, not just on ACMB but anywhere:

  1. Read the post entirely. Then read it again.
  2. Consider the context. If you’re commenting on a specific quote from a post that begins with something like “in my opinion” or “in my personal experience,” read the sentences directly prior to or following it.
  3. Take a minute to realize the author is not just words on a screen. He/she is an actual person with feelings and family members (who may also read your comments).
  4. Ask yourself, “Would I make this same comment to the author’s face if I were standing in front of him/her? And if so, would I say it in the same way?” Being tactful and courteous is no less important simply because you’re typing words on a keyboard.
  5. If you still feel the need to comment in a rude way, I encourage you to start your own personal blog where you can post your opinions on anything and everything for all the world to see…and comment on!

At the end of the day, the writers on our team and throughout the mommy blogosphere are just like each and every one of you. They are mothers to biological and adopted children, full- and part-time employees, wives, active military, friends, divorcees, step-moms, sisters, and everything in between. They are beautiful, tough, loyal, dynamic, opinionated, hilarious, and brave. While I have known most of these mamas for only a brief time, I cannot accurately put into words how much I treasure each and every one of them for all of the unique qualities and differing opinions they bring to our team. That’s what makes our little community so special; and it is my hope that we all will continue to be a vessel of strength, support, and encouragement for each other no matter what. Please, be kind to each other. Shaming gets you nowhere, and words can hurt.

Oh, and if you would like to leave a comment below, please do so! If you have anything negative to say, let me first say this: Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post today. I respect your opinion(s) and appreciate you respectfully and tactfully providing an opposing view on this matter. Have a great day!

Mic drop.

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3 Responses to Modern Day Mom Shaming: Think Before You Type

  1. Jill October 9, 2015 at 7:57 pm #

    Beautifully said. And yes…at least read the whole post before spewing negativity.

  2. Mary October 8, 2015 at 10:49 am #

    Love This article. Hope you and your sweet family are doing great this year.

    And What’s up with making me do math to post my comments? Hee
    Mrs.Mary

  3. Candice
    Candice October 8, 2015 at 8:27 am #

    I love you and I love this post! Thank you