The holidays are a magical, wonderful time of the year. It’s a time for families to gather and spend some much-needed time together. We gather with family we haven’t seen all year. We stuff all of our grandparents, in-laws, cousins, parents, aunts, uncles, and children into a room, quickly trying to catch up on lost time. Some of us need a little help surviving our families during the holidays. Don’t worry—I’ve got your back on this one.
Three simple, tried, and true ways to survive your family during the holidays. You’re welcome.
1. “Hurry Up, They’re On Their Way” Candy Cane Hot Chocolate
What you’ll need:
- dark rum, whiskey, or vodka. (It doesn’t matter, just pick your poison.)
- peppermint schnapps
- instant hot chocolate (or make your own—but remember, we’re in a hurry here)
- whipped cream
- candy cane (I take mine directly off our Christmas tree.)
- Make the hot chocolate per package instructions. Let me make it easy: nuke a coffee mug filled 3/4 of the way full with water. Add a packet of off-brand instant hot chocolate and stir. It’s not the hot chocolate that makes the drink, so let’s not get picky.
- Add dark rum (or whiskey or vodka—whatever tickles your fancy). I’m not one for measuring, so I count to two as I pour. OK, fine, I count to four. But you can use a jigger or other measuring device if you’re a rule follower.
- Add peppermint schnapps. For this I count to one or add a “splash,” but I suggest adding little by little until you’ve reach your preferred peppermint limit.
- Add whipped cream in a large mound and stick the candy cane in the mug. This will make you look fancy.
- Sip it if you want, but again, they’re on their way!
2. “Gotta Make it Through Today” Candy Cane Coffee
- Everything in the previous recipe, plus coffee and minus hot chocolate.
- See previous recipe.
- Use coffee instead of hot chocolate.
3. “I Need to Look Classy, But I’m a Little Sassy” Wine Cocktail
What you’ll need:
- Your favorite wine
- Wine glass or red solo cup, depending on what level of “classy but sassy” you are trying to achieve.
- Locate your wine opener or find a substitute tool in the garage. Items I’ve
seenused as substitutes to a wine opener include a dart, butter knife, screwdriver, and shoe (don’t ask). I don’t suggest using any of those.
- Open wine by any means necessary.
- Tilt wine glass or solo cup (no reason for this except it looks semi-professional) and pour wine into glass.
- Sip, gulp, or chug.
- Check yourself every 30 minutes to make sure your mouth is not moving faster than your common sense.