As we ring in the new year, individuals all around the world are writing resolutions: How do I want to be better? What do I want to improve? What can I accomplish? Get into shape. Read more. Be more successful with work. Learn a new skill or a foreign language. It goes on and on.
I’ve always liked the idea of setting goals, but for some reason New Year’s resolutions have never really appealed to me. Perhaps it’s the disappointment we have in ourselves at the end of the year when we ultimately didn’t become the people we strived to be.
But really, what’s wrong with finding happiness and joy in exactly who we are right now? As opposed to those traditional resolutions, this year I’m choosing a word to focus on: one word that will guide my days this new year.
I’m having various versions of my word created for different areas of my house that are “my spaces”: my bathroom, my bedside table, my kitchen, my desk, my computer screen, my car. I want this word to face me every day as a reminder of my commitment to myself.
GRACE
Personally, my word for 2016 is GRACE. I want to show more grace to my kids, my husband, myself, those who surround me, and even people I don’t know but with whom I come into contact daily.
I want to be better at extending grace, at treating people with grace, at realizing that others’ actions or words might come from experiences I can’t even begin to wrap my head around, as I don’t know what happened to any given person last month, last week, or even five minutes ago that might affect our interaction.
I challenged the ACMB team to each choose a word that will be her theme for the year. I loved hearing the different words they chose, and how almost each one of them resonated and related to both me and moms everywhere.
PATIENCE
“I normally have a lot of it, but I feel like it’s waning. I need more patience to wait, take a deep breath, and just relax. I find myself saying to my son, ‘Let’s go! Come on! How many times have I asked you to…’ I need to remember he is five. We’ve had a lot going on in the past year, and he’s a great little boy who deserves my patience.
Likewise, I need to respect other people’s time and have patience for what other people are going through.”
PRESENT
“As in, ‘Be in the present.’ Or, if people want to give me presents, that’s cool, too.”
LEARNING
“I’ve found it really is the key for me. If I’m not learning, what’s the point? Learning could mean trying to better understand people, concepts, differences, my own strengths and weaknesses—anything. This was a huge learning year for me, learning how to be a stay-at-home parent. Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so satisfied and dissatisfied with myself at any other job.”
CELEBRATE
“I feel like I was a huge Debbie Downer in 2015. I want to make 2016 a year of celebrations, big and small!”
PRIORITIES
“There are a lot of things I want to do, but a finite amount of time and money, so I need to spend wisely. This applies to family life, blogging, and my volunteer work.”
PEACE
“With whatever happens. In coping with my husband’s constant traveling. In dealing with daily mom struggles. In my mind, heart, and soul. I need to remember my faith, let go of the illusion of control, and just be at peace this year.”
ORGANIZED
“Because there is so much distance between me and that word right now, it ain’t even funny. I spend half of my life looking for things, and the other half hating myself for spending so much time looking for things. Clutter and chaos reign supreme at my house, and it must stop now! This year I’m going to make it happen one square foot at a time and hope and pray it brings at least some of the serenity that I so desperately desire.”
AFFINER
“This is the French translation of ‘refine,’ but it literally translates to ‘to cleanse or clean,’ which is how I want to use the word refine. In 2016, I want to edit, pare down, simplify, and refine my daily life, choices, home, parenting, and business decisions I make. Less complication and more intention.”
FOCUS
“For me focus means all of the above: grace, patience, priorities, etc. Paying more attention to things, staying more on top of things, focusing on the things that matter, and keeping myself centered on what’s important while letting go of everything else and cutting myself some slack. Sometimes it will be the little things, sometimes the big things, but keeping my focus on what I need to, not what grabs my attention at any passing moment will be my priority—though that passing moment may be what needs my focus, like my son and something he’s doing, enjoying, or that I should be a part of. I sometimes feel like I’ve floated through the day getting things done but wasn’t really present for any of it, if that makes any sense. I want to change that and anchor more.”
JOY
“There needs to be more of it in my home. I often let a messy house, a stubborn child, or the list of to-dos in my head rob me of my joy. I’m also guilty of being too distracted on my phone, watching the news, or being so busy with my mom duties that my kids rarely get to see ‘happy Mommy.’ I want to be less serious with myself and my kids so there can be more joy and laughter.”
LAUGH
“I seem to have lost sight of my sense of humor. The little things I used to be able to laugh off I somehow allowed to grow into monstrous, suffocating things. Laugh more in 2016!”
TRUE
“My word is TRUE. I spent too much time last year not being true to and with myself. I was dishonest with myself in many ways. I told myself I could do more than I should have—at the expense of my family, work, and writing. I believed I needed to be more like other leaders or moms and lost myself along the way, to the point that I was asking, ‘Who am I?!’ By the end of the year, I started being true about my capabilities and my leadership and mothering style. I was true to what I believed was right for my children when it came to their discipline, therapy, education, and strengths, and I want to continue that this year: to be true in every sense.”
PEACE
“Because ‘chill the freak out’ is more than one word.”
DETERMINATION
“This year my focus has to be forging forward professionally and contributing financially at home with DETERMINATION (because near panic sets in when I realize only seven years remain before we will have two kids instantly in college, where beau-coup bucks will be needed). That being said, I hope next year my word can be EMPOWERMENT, because one beautiful thing I’ve realized that comes with being 40+ is this awesome acceptance of who you are and what is.”
KINDNESS
“I want to focus on being kind to my family, the people I interact with, and myself.”
PERSPECTIVE
“As in, ‘keeping things in perspective.’ Too many times things happen and I lose focus of the big picture or overreact about things that are really minor. I want to do better at not letting that happen, because when it it does it takes away my joy and patience. I also need to focus on what I have and not what I don’t have.”
JOIE
“As in, ‘joie de vivre.’ To remind me to not only take pleasure in the day to day but to find moments to provide joy and pleasure for myself and others. To be gentler and kinder and gracious.”
ALIGNED
“After a year of big changes I need to focus on getting our lives back in order and in alignment with our values as a family. I’m hoping this means I can get my groove back and feel like I’m back in my own skin. Some serious TLC, patience, and gratitude (for myself and my family) will be my means to an end.”
¡VIVA!
“My word for the year is ¡VIVA! ¡Viva everything!”
INTENTIONAL
“For me, 2016 is not a year of slowing down; it’s a year of prioritizing and thinking about the path ahead a little bit more before putting something else on my plate. Also, I want to think more about what I do and say before I do it or say it.”
