I couldn’t believe it was happening, as it happened. I actually said “no.”
As a people-pleasing, “YES!” person, it felt kind of amazing.
Who am I kidding? Saying “no” was also kind of terrifying. OK, OK, totally terrifying.
What FOMO am I bringing upon myself by not doing something?! It’s incomprehensible. It’s unbelievable. It’s done.
Whatever it is, I can deal with it later. I mean, the internet says I can deal with it later. In fact “it” probably won’t be a thing. I did the whole screen shot “what you will manifest in 2017?” thing, and I captured “new freedom.”
Haven’t done yours? Try it now!
Of course I didn’t let what is essentially a magic eight-ball make a decision for me. I’m 35, not 15.
First, I talked to my husband. Then I talked to a friend who took time out of her work schedule to chat. And then I talked to another friend who let me call her during RHOC commercial breaks. A girl has to have her squad, and obviously diversity is key, because when they all agree you are making the right decision, well, then you are definitely making the right decision.
All three confirmed I made the right decision for myself. And I also received the following zenful wisdom from one of my friend: “In saying ‘no,’ you are saying ‘yes’ to you.”
By now you’ve probably seen the magazine cover “Say Yes to Saying No.”
How often do you literally see signs about stuff in your life? Well, I saw the cover while standing in line at the grocery store the day after saying “no.” Another confirmation! I made the right choice. But I didn’t buy the magazine, because who has time to read those? I also stand by that decision to say “no.”
Sure, saying “yes” is supposed to lead you on a wild ride in life and open doors to all sorts of new experiences, but to have the time to do all that awesome stuff, you have to say “no” at some point.
Think about what you can do when you say “yes” to you. I mean really think about it. If you aren’t sure something is for you and you don’t think you want to do it, then say “no” and open up your calendar for:
- You time. Read that magazine you already have lying around the house.
- Kid time. No watching the clock because you have somewhere else you’re supposed to be.
- You time. Pedi-what? Pedicure—that thing you remember you need every time you look at your feet in the shower but haven’t gotten because it’s winter. But it’s Texas, and soon winter will be over. Like yesterday. It was over yesterday, for two hours.
- Family time. Skype with the grandparents because you are all finally at home at the same time. Go to lunch with your mom and baby. Go to lunch with your husband and baby. Or take a family nap.
- You time. (You get more of this when you say “no.”) I’m only two episodes into the release of the new Gilmore Girls. Just three measly hours of post-baby bedtime TV-watching, and I won’t have to worry about spoilers anymore.
- Couple time. We might see the inside of a movie theater again one day. Fingers crossed it will happen before the baby turns one year old. Or maybe before she turns two.
Of course words aren’t magic wands that conjure up extra time in the day. Whatever you decide to do with your time, when you say “no” is up to you. Odds are you won’t be able to get all of the above done in one day, though you could read a magazine while getting that long-awaited pedi.
You’re a mom after all, and no one multitasks better than you.
Try it out this year and see how it feels to say “yes” to you.