Humor RSS feed for this section

Untitled design (32)

A Few Choice Words About Red Ribbon Week

Hooray, moms! Rejoice and hallelujah! We’ve made it through Red Ribbon Week. And good news! Most of us didn’t strangle a kid. I say “most,” because I didn’t see Carter at drop-off this morning. He was painted head to toe camouflage—like face, hands, elbows, and all—on “Drugs Can’t See Me” Day yesterday, and his mom, […]

Continue Reading
fall

An Ode to a Texas Autumn

The other night, I dreamed of fairies, kings, and faraway lands. Perhaps it was the bedtime story, fresh in my mind from my family’s nighttime ritual, or maybe it was my heart’s longing for a fairy godmother of my own. A fairy godmother who would sprinkle apples, pumpkins, leaves of golds and reds, and pots […]

Continue Reading
In defense of facebook

In Defense of Facebook

I’ve recently decided that my spirit animal is Jim Halpert from The Office. For those of you that don’t know the show (bless your heart) or his character, he is cast as the average, no-nonsense, logical office worker in a sea of totally insane, highly dramatic and absurd office mates. The show was created to […]

Continue Reading
potty mouth parenting

Oh, Truck! Potty-Mouth Parenting 101

There we were—yes, at Target. I was smiling, feeling successful at exiting the house for the first time alone with my newborn and three-year-old when I stubbed my toe so badly I saw fireworks. I gasped and grimaced, hollering, “OH, OH, OH!” when the unthinkable happened. My three-year-old followed my “OH!” with a big ol’ […]

Continue Reading
IMG_7902

Dear Harvey

Dear Harvey, You must know this ain’t our first rodeo. You’ve hung the wrong horse thief if you thought you could stop Texas. That dog won’t hunt. Texas always draws the best bull. Storms Rita, Allison, and Carla all made hornets look cuddly. Those three were a couple sandwiches shy of a picnic. But you, […]

Continue Reading
IMG_7804

The Day I Threw My Fitbit Away

Get a Fitbit, they said. You will love it, they said. I can’t believe how it made me more active, they said. I can’t imagine my life before one, he said. Well, let me tell you what I say about it all: lies. The day I regained my freedom and let go of the restrictions […]

Continue Reading
dating after divorce

Dating After Divorce: You Know More Than You Think

After the dust of my divorce had settled, many friends remarked that they could not imagine dating again. Granted, dating after marriage is, frankly, terrifying. However, attending my daughter’s Meet the Teacher event for the new school year brought an epiphany: it’s exactly like dating. SERIOUSLY. Hear me out, married mommies. You know more than […]

Continue Reading
We all know what the Instagram version of a pool day looks like. This is the IRL edition.

Momentum Starts with Mom: The Great Inconvenient Truth of the Summer

We are moms, knee-deep into summer, and we hold this truth to be self evident: that nothing, absolutely positively nothing in the summer happens without our involvement. Our kids cannot go anywhere, eat anything, put clothes on, go to sleep, and sometimes, if we’re really winning, use the restroom without our supervision. I was only […]

Continue Reading