“You’re Doing A Great Job!”: Simple Ways to Support Other Moms

From one mom to another, here are some things to think about and how we can support each other on this journey of motherhood!

Let Go Of Competitiveness

As women and mothers, the competitive nature we intrinsically have with one another can be made worse with the invention of Facebook and Pinterest.  It must be a natural instinct that even the most confident of women are plagued with at times. No matter if your job title is a stay-at-home mom or you work outside the home, this friendly competitiveness with one another can be the biggest detriment in a world already filled with so much negativity.

Why Wait Till They Are Gone To Them How You Feel?

That’s serious stuff, huh?

I’ve become pretty passionate about this topic and overwhelmed with the desire to tell the most important people in my life what I love about them right NOW. Call it the initial stages of a 33-year-old-mid-life-crisis, but I yet to understand why we tend to keep it all inside. I struggle with possibly waiting till death to say all the things I admire about the people closest to me.

What holds me back from just blurting it all out the next time I see them? I don’t know! Why not make it the norm at the next happy hour to tell my girlfriend how I am inspired by her communication skills with her husband? Or while suffering together through the next Chuck E Cheese birthday party, tell a friend that I have noticed how well-behaved her children are and how impressed I am how she sternly but lovingly disciplines them. Why not tell one of my stay at home mom friends that she seems to be rocking it, in what I think is the hardest job in the world and how in the world does she always look so pulled together?! I tell my kids how awesome they are all the time, why don’t I tell my neighbor I have seen dedicate her life to her husband and kids, the same? What is it about human nature where conversations like this aren’t the norm for us moms?

Ways To Tell Them

Don’t the words of your closest friends and family mean the most to you? They do to me. I am blessed to have two best friends that have a long history of writing me little notes over the years. Megan and Alli don’t know how their words have resonated or how I treasure them and keep them safe in a special place where I can look through them when I am feeling defeated. You too can have the same effect on those close to you and I strive to do the same.

A few years ago while getting ready to celebrate my third Mother’s Day, I got overcome with emotion thinking about five women I really admired as mothers, all for completely different reasons. I took action in that raw moment to email those specific women and tell them how much I respected them as a fellow mom. The feeling that came over me afterwards was such peace knowing that those women will forever know that little ol’ me, noticed what they do, day in and day out.

I was reading an article by Martha Beck, where she recommended “gossiping positively and to mistakenly copy the email to someone on her best qualities.” If that’s too much work then the next time you are catching up with a girlfriend, make it a point to say something you really admire about a mutual girlfriend, when her name gets brought up. Hopefully the complement will get back to her.

Find A Younger Mom To Inspire

I have a dear friend, whom I have known for almost twenty years, that I look to as the ultimate mom mentor.

Have I told her this? No, not till now.

I respect Brigitte Perkins in oh-so-many ways.  When I was a teenager, I saw her as the ultimate mother of three. Then, later in life, my view evolved to noticing her as the amazing wife to her husband and now, even later, I see her as a top producing professional dedicated to her career in real estate. Thirty years older than me, I’m not sure if Brigitte realizes the positive impact she has had on my life since I was fourteen years old. I have always seen her stand up for what she believes in, put her family first and consistently lead by example. Over the years, Brigitte has used her gift with words to send me poignant short notes telling me how much she believes in me and how I am doing such a good job in each chapter of life. I have a note from college, when I got married, had my first, then second and even third child. She occasionally calls and sends short emails when she knows something big is going on and her words fill me with such encouragement knowing that someone I look up to, thinks I am doing some good in this world. I look forward to finding someone younger that I can share my life’s experiences and  perspective with and above all, be her cheerleader during each stage of her life.

“We Can Do It!”

So, let’s band together as moms of San Antonio and make a concerted effort to tell three people this week that you think they are awesome and doing a great job juggling the everyday struggles of being a mom. Let’s not assume they will be around forever and later wish we had the courage to tell them what we most admired.

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