My Experience with Breastfeeding and Formula Feeding

I knew that I wanted to breastfeed from the moment I found out I was pregnant.  I assumed that it would be a natural and easy process. Haven’t women been doing this since the beginning of time?  I read the books and attended the classes.  I had the nursing cover, the pump, and obviously the god-given “equipment” necessary to make the feeding of my newborn baby a walk in the park.  WRONG.  I was wrong.  Breastfeeding, as it turns out, was not natural for me.  Even worse, I felt like I was bad mom because it was hard for me and I truly hated doing it.  Now that it has been three years since those first days of being a milk machine, I can look back with a sense of clarity and a feeling that I can share a little bit of my experience in hopes of helping whoever might be reading this.

You have to get started right away.

The first moments after my baby, Jack, arrived were filled with joy, tears, and a wonderful sense of happiness.  I was so excited to love on him and let others love on him.  We had a few visitors and mainly I just wanted to stare at him, so when he immediately started rooting and showing signs of hunger, I didn’t worry too much about it.  For a variety of reasons, I kept putting off the suggestions from nurses to try breastfeeding.  This came back to bite me because when I finally did try it for the first time, Jack was super hungry, fussy, and tired.  Needless to say, it wasn’t the best way to start our nursing relationship, and I wish I would have had more of a sense of urgency and gotten started right away.  Don’t wait for a perfect time, just bite the bullet and do it as soon as you can. It will make it way easier in the long run, I promise.

Breastfeeding really does hurt.

sleepin sleepin
How could this innocent little face become such a violent feeder?

I had heard and read somewhere that breastfeeding hurts.  I consider myself to have a pretty strong tolerance for pain, so I thought yeah, yeah, whatever.  I got this.  I was a bit off in my thinking that it couldn’t and wouldn’t hurt that badly.  Well, it might not hurt for everyone, but in my experience, it was straight up painful.  If you find this is the case for you, I have two tips to share.  First, invest in a nipple shield.  My fabulous and kind sister-in-law, aka The Booby Whisperer, suggested trying one and thank goodness she did.  I know that this isn’t the most popular idea amongst lactation specialists, but it saved me from throwing in the towel all together and from crying due to pain.  Second, take a break from nursing by pumping.  I know, it seems like just feeding the baby might be a little easier, but give the ol’ nipples a rest and pump to keep your supply going.  This also allowed me to sneak in the other room and watch a Housewives of something or other and get a few moments to myself while someone else was giving the baby a bottle.

You will breastfeed all the time for the first few weeks.

The books and doctors told me that I needed to feed the baby every two hours.  In my pre-baby world, this seemed completely do-able.  Two hours in between feedings is plenty of time.  In my post-baby world, where everything from doing laundry to going to the grocery store takes a lot longer, two hours went by ridiculously fast.  During those first few weeks at home, I don’t remember do much of anything except for feeding the baby.  Also, the average baby needs to eat every two hours.  My mammoth man had an insatiable appetite so I’m not kidding when I say he was constantly either nursing or hungry to be fed.  So, if you feel like your postpartum state of life offers little more than being a source of food for baby, don’t worry.  You are normal.

small break
A short break from nursing meant it was time for a photo op.

It’s okay to ask for help.

I remember driving by the Stork’s Nest at the Methodist Hospital and thinking judgmental types of things like, Um, who goes there?  Come on, just put the baby up to your boob and do the thing already.  Who really needs a lactation consultant? (Or as we preferred to call these lovely ladies, “lactologists”.)  Once again, I found myself eating my words and making an appointment within days of returning home from the hospital.  The wonderful saint of a woman helped me with a routine, came up with a game plan, and most of all, encouraged me that I was doing okay despite feeling like a complete failure.  I highly recommend bringing your husband, significant other, or a family member with you to this type of appointment because his or her support is so important.  Also, consider reaching out to other moms that have been in your shoes.  I was always asking Katy for insider tips and support.  There is no need to be a supermom- ask for help.

Formula is not the devil.

I fell hard into the “Breast is Best” campaign and, don’t get me wrong, I believe in breastfeeding 100 percent.  However, when I think back at when Jack was put into the NICU for some breathing problems a day after he was born, I remember being less worried about the breathing issues and more worried that they might, gasp!, give him formula.  He would be forever doomed to the “B” list of children that aren’t breastfed.  This was obviously not rational nor was it true.  Yes, he was given formula and as it turns out, it helped him get better because he was starving.  We were able to establish a breastfeeding relationship after he was released back to me.  When I returned to work and couldn’t keep up with pumping and nursing, I had to supplement with formula.  I, of course, was overly dramatic and told my mom how terrible I felt about not being able to exclusively breastfeed.  She, in all of her wisdom, looked at me and said, “Lindsay.  You teach first grade.  Can you tell me which of your children were breastfed and which were not?”  This question was well-played on her part and helped me see the bigger picture.  Yes, breast is best, but it’s not like formula fed babies are being poisoned.

Finally, do what is best for you and your baby.  I was thrilled to “make it” to my goal of breastfeeding Jack for six months and I was content with moving on to formula.  Even better, my three-year-old is happy, healthy, and thriving.  If we ever do have another baby, I will be armed with more knowledge that comes from experience, but I will be a little bit more relaxed about nursing.  I will also not beat myself up if it doesn’t work out according to plan because at the end of the day, whichever way I decide to feed him or her, I will be doing my job as a mother just fine.

What was your experience with nursing?  Did you try it?  Know it wasn’t for you?  Tips you wish you could tell other mothers?  Share in the comments below!

Lindsay
Lindsay is the co-founder of Alamo City Moms Blog. A native New Orleanian, Lindsay found her way to the Alamo City via her husband, Steven, who is a born and raised San Antonian. She is a mom to three young children. Lindsay earned her B.A. in Psychology from Rhodes College and her M.A. in Early Childhood Education from UTSA. She was a preschool and first-grade teacher for 10 years and is now a Reading Specialist and Dyslexia Therapist.

4 COMMENTS

  1. I breastfed my girl for 13 months….and it was not the fun bonding experience i was led to believe it would be. I had a few warnings, but I too believed that that’s what boobies were for so it couldn’t be that dang hard. We started rough. Turns out I had a physical problem that made it hard for her to latch. Nipple shields were my saving grace. Then I got mastitis. In both breasts. The pump hurt worse than the nursing, but i was determined. Things got back to a rhythm and I got mastitis again. After that things leveled off, and we found our routine. There were a few months where i could enjoy holding her and staring at her while she ate quietly. Then teething began. OUCH. That became our challenge till weaning, when I went through 2 more rounds of mastitis. The mastitis and yet more teething kept us nursing for that last month, even though I was fed up and ready to be done the day she turned 1.

    I will probably try to breastfed for a year with any other children we have in the future…but I promise I wont be so one track mind about not supplementing, and that i will not wait one second to call a specialist if i feel the symptoms of mastitis.

    Breastfeeding wasn’t a blissful experience, but I’m glad I stuck it out. My daughter and I did bond while breastfeeding, even if it wasn’t anything like what I expected. We worked together. I helped her, and she helped me.

  2. Thanks for this, Lindsay! I’ll have to pick your brain soon about nursing after returning to work…especially in a school setting where it’s hard to carve time out of your day consistently.

  3. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this post! You know me – I worship at the altar of breastmilk – but I think you have hit the nail on the head with your reflections about the struggles of nursing and the benefits of using formula when it’s needed. I, too, felt a horrible guilt when I ended up having to supplement with formula, but it’s absolutely true that there is not a “B” list. 🙂 Thank you for being so balanced and wise. XOXO

  4. “Formula is not the Devil”….best words in this post (for me). My little guy recently went on a nursing strike. I had no idea what that even was. Among the heartbreaking emotional battle of it all was my fear of having to supplement with formula. Well my fear became a reality when I ran out of my frozen stash, because I wasn’t pumping enough and guess what? He is still a happy and healthy little guy! Thank You for this post.

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