Wow, Alamo City Moms Blog is a year old ! I am looking forward to getting together with the co-founders and the original contributors and hearing stories about how it all started. (Lindsay and Brooke shared a few tidbits about the founding in this look back.)
In my family, it’s a birthday tradition to tell the guest of honor stories about the day he or she was born. My son, F.T., has a birthday coming up soon, and here’s how we are planning to do it for him. We scheduled a kids’ party for him and his friends, but first we will gather for a family birthday dinner. We’ll cook his favorite foods—a “meat and potatoes” feast—and bake him a chocolate cake. As we’re clearing the dishes, but before bringing out the cake, we’ll tell him stories about what happened on his original birthday.
What kinds of things will we talk about? All kinds of things. Here are some prompts for your storytelling:
- Was your birth planned, or a surprise?
- If it was a surprise, where was mom when labor started? What was she doing, and who was she with? How did she feel?
- How did mom get to the hospital or birth center, or who came to the house to help?
- Which friends and relatives visited to offer support?
- If you have older brothers or sisters, what did they do while you were being born?
- Did mom let anyone take pictures or videos of the birth?
- Were there any surprises? Did mom and dad already know whether you were a boy or a girl?
- Did you have hair when you were born? If so, was it the same color you have now, or did it change?
- How did you feel right after you were born? Sleepy, cuddly, hungry, upset?
- When you were a newborn, did people say, “You look just like so-and-so!” Do you still look like that relative?
- How did you get home from the hospital, or first venture out into the world?
- What role did religion or spirituality play in your birth story?
When F.T. was a baby, these memories were still fresh, and it was fun to collect and share stories with my husband, my sister, and my parents, who were all part of the day that he was born. F.T. enjoyed sitting at the table and hearing our happy, excited voices.
Now that F.T. is old enough to ask questions, he participates more in the storytelling. Last year, he wanted to know what each person in the family was doing on the day he was born.
During storytelling time, I will probably bring out my computer and show F.T. some pictures of himself when he was younger. He still seems skeptical that he was ever that small. Last year, I made a gallery of photos taken one year apart—so sweet to see his little face growing up.
Storytelling time slows down the pace of the party for a while and focuses everything on the guest of honor. When the storytelling winds down, we will bring out the cake and sing the birthday song. It will feel more like a busy party again, but F.T. will remember the stories and the feeling of being loved.
Talking to your kids about the day they were born is a gentle way to introduce the topic of “Where do babies come from?” without diving too far into the biology of it. You can adjust the level of detail to make your stories age-appropriate.
Oral history time is also an opportunity to share your religion or spirituality with your children in a very personal way. All it takes is a moment to put into words the way you felt connected with the divine as part of the process of giving birth and becoming a mother.
Adopted children or children of surrogates may enjoy hearing the oral history of they day the joined the family. This technique is also a thoughtful way to remember a stillbirth or a lost child. (My recent post about CHRISpark also concerned child loss.)
Perhaps best of all, oral history and storytelling is always FREE. There’s never a danger of not being able to meet your child’s expectations during a tight-budget year. There’s no worry about keeping up with the neighbors; everyone’s stories are special and valid. (This earlier post has more advice about money differences and friendships.)
Telling birthday stories is a tradition that you never really outgrow. My grandmother used to call my mom on her birthday and talk about the day she was born—a snowy January day in upstate New York. My mom still tells me stories about my birthday, which was either a Tuesday or a Thursday, because those were the days my dad taught classes. He thought he had time to finish his lecture before I was born, but he had guessed wrong. The hospital called the department, and then a staff member stepped into the classroom to announce, “It’s a girl!” to cheers and applause from over 400 students.
Will you add storytelling and oral history to your child’s next birthday celebration?
Inga – what a beautiful idea. And that picture of you…so touching.
I will probably have to do this with Baby Boy for his birthday! So precious and such a good idea!
What a beautiful tradition. It’s one we share with our children too. They always love hearing about the day they were born.
I love this! I feel like I tell Addie’s birth story to other people all the time, but I don’t know if we’ve ever sat down with her. Definitely adding this to our traditions!
Awww!! This is such a beautiful tradition. I need to do this, its is particularly special since it doesn’t cost anything (good point Inga!) and only a special few can tell the story =)