How the Gift Card Stole Christmas (But Not on My Watch)

They finally put the red tinsel over the doors at Walmart, which means I’ve officially been given the green light to mentally prep the Christmas plans I won’t find the motivation to actually implement until—oh, I don’t know—December 22 (or whenever Amazon’s Last Day For Guaranteed Shipping happens to fall). Yes, I’m talking about gift-giving. I have a love/hate relationship with gift-giving. I love the feeling of euphoria that rushes over me after I’ve found the perfect gift for someone, but I hate how hard it is to do so. I spend my whole year training my tired little ears to pick up on the needs, wants, and desires of my loved ones so that I can mentally file them away until the time of year when the ol’ gift-giving factory gets a-crankin’. The problem is, of course, that my mental Rolodex is about as antiquated as a real life Rolodex; therefore, these little tidbits seem to get lost in the ether. Enter the gift card.

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Once they’ve made a Hallmark card for something, you know that “thing” is here to stay!

Ah, the gift card: The patron saint of last-minute and just plain forgetful shoppers such as myself. Who amongst us hasn’t sought solace in the warm, comforting embrace of a gift card? Once thought of as a specialty item, the gift card has now gone totally mainstream. Every retailer offers one, Hallmark designs cards specifically to hold one, and nobody ever asks to return one. (Right? Can you even return a gift card?) And you can’t beat the convenience of buying a gift card. Just check the aisles of your local CVS, Walmart, or HEB, and bam!—you can take your pick of cards from hundreds of specialized retailers, thus giving the (false) impression that you actually cared enough to send the very best.

The truth is that I really detest gift cards. I feel like a defeated deadbeat loser when I give them (which I have) and an uninspiring afterthought of a person when I receive one (which I do). Now before you go and get all up in arms on me, I do have some qualifiers. I get that some people actually want gift cards. I understand that after years of being subjected to tacky and useless apple-themed tchotchkes, teachers truly love and cherish the practicality of a gift card. I also understand that youngsters (these days meaning anyone under the age of 30) also find them to be a refreshing change of pace from the useless handkerchief or coin purse accessories that older (read: clueless) relatives tend to bestow upon them. And I also grant a pardon for gift cards for services, such as spa treatments and even restaurants, both of which I personally find acceptable and even welcome. It is just the retail variety that I find rather inane.

Behold the display at the front of the store at my local Walmart aka Gift Card Central.
Behold the display at the front of the store at my local Walmart aka Gift Card Central.

Every Christmas, in lieu of buying gifts for everyone in the family, my siblings and I exchange gifts Secret Santa-style: We each draw one person’s name and purchase a gift for only that person. This year it was suggested (by one of the youngest members in our crew, natch) that instead of actually putting thought into what to give each other this year, we all exchange gift cards. And not just any gift card—which would obviously leave the window of freedom of interpretation cracked just a bit—but the gift card specified in writing by the selected gift recipient. I’m not going to lie: a piece of my soul withered up and died at the suggestion. Why don’t we all just hand each other $20 bills instead? Or better yet, why don’t we not and say we did? I mean, what’s the point? I don’t get it.

Isn’t gift-giving supposed to be a warm gesture replete with love and thought behind it? Am I missing something in that equation? Don’t get me wrong: I fully realize that Christmas is not about gift-giving, so to those people who choose not to engage in the ritual of exchanging gifts at all, more power to you! I’m not at all implying that you need to swap gifts to celebrate Christmas—or any other occasion, for that matter. However, in my family, a gift exchange is part of the way we have chosen to celebrate the holiday, and I wouldn’t trade the memories that our gift exchanges have imprinted on my heart for all the gift cards in the check-out line at Target.

I, for example, have very vivid and awesome memories of sitting on the floor as a child at my grandparents’ house and watching with great amusement/horror/joy as each member of our family opened their stockings at our annual stocking party. Sometimes the gifts would be touching, such as the time my grandmother bequeathed me with a copper teakettle I had admired in her kitchen several years before. Other times they would be embarrassing, like when she gave my adolescent, angst-riddled self several pairs of silky, beige-toned granny panties trimmed with tiny strips of white lace that to my twisted teenage mind looked like they would’ve been better suited for Dorothy from The Golden Girls than a hip, young chick such as myself. And then there were the most joyous years of all: the ones when she selflessly parted ways with the “free gift with purchase” Clinique makeup bags. Those were the years preteen dreams are made of.

And although I know money was often spent in vain at these stocking parties, just as it is across the country at gift-giving celebrations year round, either because the gift-giver made a grave miscalculation in assessing the recipient’s tastes and interests or because the recipient is just too picky for their own darn good, I still think that the experience of giving or receiving an actual gift is something to be treasured and passed on. I also feel compelled to point out that purchasing a gift card does not guarantee a home-run in the finance department. Money is often wasted on gift cards, too. I cannot tell you the number of gift cards I have inadvertently misplaced in an effort to save them for a special occasion or let expire while waiting for exactly that right moment to use them. Note to self: special occasions and “perfect moments” are a thing of the past.

Just to be perfectly clear, I don’t think you have to spend money to give a great gift. I’ve long advocated for writing down a favorite memory or story of the recipient as a token of love and appreciation instead of giving a material gift, though no one seems keen to hop on that particular bandwagon with me. But think about it: how amazing would it be if, instead of sitting around opening gift cards, we took that opportunity to tell each other why we value one another? What if we used that moment to relate something that person has done or said that stuck with us? Something, perhaps, that we admire greatly about him/her but have never had the opportunity or presence of mind to share before? Would that be awkward? Heck, yes. Would it be more memorable than sitting around and opening a stocking filled with gift cards? You bet your buttons it would!

IMG_2009So do yourself a favor and liberate yourself from the gift card this year. You can take my advice and choose to exchange kind words with a friend or family member, or you can take a walk on the wild side and actually purchase something you are not 100% certain the recipient will like. And if you are on the receiving end of a gift that leaves you feeling a bit baffled, you might want to take that as an opportunity to reflect on the reason the giver may have purchased it for you. Take, for example, the time my sweet little sister gave me the decorative box (pictured at left) for my birthday. I just took those five little lines and added them to my growing list of Things That Make Me Go “Hmmmmm.”

Elizabeth
Elizabeth is a native Texan and stay at home mom to a 3-year-old human hurricane in pigtails and a 1-year-old son who is currently jockeying for the title of world’s biggest mama’s boy. She has been married to her husband, who lives in perpetual denial of the fact that he is, in fact, a Yankee, for eight long (and wonderful!) years. Together they have renovated a historical home with their own little hands (never again), braved the winters of New York (and decided they’d rather not), and discovered a profound and binding love of travel (travel without the children, that is). They currently reside in Fair Oaks Ranch where they are surrounded by family and deer.