Recently, a dear friend told me that I make my life look easy. She was complimenting me on how I was usually pretty upbeat and that I managed to make a demanding job, three kids, volunteering, family/friends, etc. look easy and effortless. Y’all, I literally started bawling when she said this.
I usually accept a compliment gracefully with the appropriate amount of humility coupled with general agreement, but this one just undid me. I couldn’t believe that to an outside but very close friend, I appeared to have it all together. Trust me when I say that Bruce/Caitlin Jenner five years ago had it more figured out than I do.
This whole conversation got me thinking about life and how we appear to people. Why on earth do I try and keep up these appearances? Am I trying to win some imaginary contest? If so, who is my competition? Do they know we are competing? Who is the judge in the scenario? Are there prizes? If there are prizes, I have yet to win one, just FYI.
My advice to myself and you, dear readers, is just STOP! Stop trying to make being a mom look easy. If you work, stop pretending that balancing work obligations with home obligations is easy. It isn’t. I will take you for coffee or wine (preferably) and agree with you that finding balance is hard.
If you work full-time at home with your kids, stop trying to pretend that you have the ideal scenario. Although I have never done it, I am pretty sure there is some point during most days you would kill to be able sit quietly in front of your computer (during waking hours) and manage your to-do list or browse Pinterest.
No matter what your scenario, STOP pretending. Allow people to see who you truly are and what is truly happening in your life. If things are going great, show it. If things are hard, be vulnerable enough to allow other moms in because I know that you will find the support you need.
There is always so much talk at the beginning of the year about goals and our respective power words that will define 2016 for each of us and each family’s mission statement for the upcoming year, but I would like to give you something different. I would like to challenge you to just STOP outwardly being what you are “supposed” to be, STOP pretending that things are perfect, and START being the wonderful, beautiful, broken, truthful version of yourself.
