One evening, when I was super pregnant with my twins, I attended a Moms’ Night Out event with the
San Antonio Area Mothers of Multiples. It was painting, which I enjoy. I figured I would have fun, even if I didn’t actually talk to any of the other moms. Little did I know I would end up across from a curly-haired, sassy rock star who would become one of my closest friends.
Meredith doesn’t just march to the beat of her own drummer, she dances to an entire band. She’s brilliant, creative, beautiful, and one of the most together women I know. She’s comfortable in her skin (or fakes it supremely well) and constantly reminds me that I can reach for the stars.
She’s been doing design work in architecture for 20 years. In a largely male-dominated field, Meredith makes no apologies for who she is. She just brings her best self to the table every day.
So I was not surprised when she told me that she and her husband had bought a house in Southtown to renovate. For many, “renovate” means paint and countertops and maybe a new floor. Meredith planned to take her dream home down to the studs and build it back up in her perfect image. She’d managed projects for years and could soon add general contractor to her job titles.
In case it’s not already obvious, I’m in serious awe of this friend of mine. When I had a chance to peak behind the magical curtain, I jumped!
Shanti: What is your background?
Meredith: I’ve worked in the architecture profession since I was an undergrad student at UTSA. I grew up locally and have a very supportive family here in San Antonio, along with an amazing extended family of friends and community.
S: Why did you decide to take on this project?
M: My husband and I decided to move our family downtown, but it’s too expensive to buy a finished house in the neighborhood of our choice. But we were determined to be here. I saw pictures of this house on Zillow. It was a real wreck, but you could tell it had been wonderful at one time. At the same time, I was at a crossroads in my career, so it made sense to take on this project.
S: How do you balance all of your roles: mom, wife, professional, and general contractor?
M: The truth is, I do not balance them. I rarely feel like I’m doing well at everything I want and need to do. It hurts the most that I lose time with my kids due to my profession. And I’m frequently so tired, I don’t give my husband the attention that I’d like to. Fortunately, he’s also so exhausted by wearing so many hats that he doesn’t seem to notice.
S: Has this process gone as expected? Were there unexpected hurdles?
M: There have been hurdles to overcome, and some of them are currently being climbed, clambered over, knocked down, and chopped into firewood. Our biggest hurdle is—and I’m sure this is true for many families—financial. We took a leap buying this house to renovate, and things ended up costing more than we figured. I have to own it: I didn’t plan enough when it came to money. So, I’ve had to take a more or less permanent break from building my dream house and get a real job. We’re going to figure out how to finance the rest of the renovation, and I’ll end up having to let someone else do most of the work. That’s the part that hurts the most, you know? I don’t get to wake up every day and go pour my sweat and my soul—and yes, my blood—into this labor of love, this labor that I love. But the best way I can serve my family is to be gainfully employed, so that is what I will do.
S: Why did you choose this part of town for your home?
M: Sam and I met as neighbors living in Southtown in the summer of 2000. We moved away in 2004 when I went to grad school, and when we came back in 2007, it was right before the real estate bubble burst, and we couldn’t afford to live here! So we moved to a mid-century suburb inside 410. There were a lot of homes with original owners from when the neighborhood was built in the ’60s. It was a beautiful area, and we hoped the demographic would turn over by the time we had kids. It didn’t, and we missed the “front porch” neighborliness of living downtown. The house we chose is on a block with at least five other kids near my girls’ age, and there are frequent family gatherings up and down the block. Also, I love the fact that I can open my front door and walk to an abundance of places for cheap or free recreation and entertainment. Public transportation is a breeze down here too. We frequently take the bus to the downtown library, or walk to Hemisfair Park or downtown parades and events, along with a number of friendly neighbors and neighborhood shops. I even walk to work sometimes. I grew up in the suburbs, but I’m an urbanite at heart. My kids get exposed to all kinds of different people and situations, and I want that for them.
S: What have you learned going through the renovation process?
M: The most important general lesson I’ve learned is that it’s OK to mess up and mess up big. You can still be loved, even when you’ve taken a big risk that didn’t turn out the way you planned. It’s worth chasing your dreams, but you have to accept that catching them might take a much different path than anticipated.
Personally, I’ve learned that living in a smaller space (we’re in a 1200-square foot apartment with two kids and a dog) is actually really good for my marriage! We can’t retreat to our corners and bottle up the anxieties and frustrations that everybody has. Proximity engenders sharing, and working together, and it also forces us to be more active. Time alone means one or all of us has to leave the apartment. It’s helped me realize that I don’t need almost any of the stuff in our storage unit. And I really don’t miss most of it. Maybe some of the furniture and art.
S: What is perfect date night for you?
M: The perfect date night for Sam and me is a fabulous dinner, followed by live music or a late night neighborhood party.
S: What is your favorite part of being a mom?
M: My favorite part of being a mom is watching my daughters’ personalities emerge. It’s like a science experiment, but with love.
S: What’s one lesson you hope you pass on to your daughters?
M: I want my daughters to know that they can blaze their own trails in life. My only expectations for them are that they be true to themselves, maintain a strong personal code of ethics, and live with passion. And I work very hard to lead by example!
I also want them to know that they don’t have to accept the limitations frequently set by society. They can be girls AND they can do hard jobs. And they can be stronger, smarter, funnier, and more opinionated and outspoken than some people wish them to be. One of the best lessons my dad ever taught me was not to tell myself no. He said, “Babydoll, plenty of people in this world are going to want to stop you from succeeding. Don’t be one of them.” Yes, he called me ‘Babydoll.’ We’re Texan.
S: Favorite Southtown eatery?
M: Do I have to choose? Impossible! There’s a place to suit every mood and every occasion.
S: If a visitor had one day to spend in San Antonio, what should they absolutely NOT miss?
M: Just walk. Go downtown and absorb everything. Rent a bicycle, check out the River, go to the Pearl, stop for a bite, do some people watching, grab a drink, more River, more food and drink, find a San Antonio Current and see who’s playing at a local park or bar. Just breathe, see, taste, feel, hear San Antonio. We live so richly here!
S: Breakfast tacos or donuts?
M: Why choose?
S: What four words describe you?
M: I’d rather use the four words I aspire to be: empathetic, creative, hardworking, generous.
